Almost Everything
by sassysavvyo
Summary: Haley James thought losing her mother was the hardest thing she would ever have to deal with. However, between balancing a hard-working father, a masochistic brother and high school, she'll realize the journey has only just begun.
1. Chapter One

_One _

Julian James believed in a lot of things. He believed in life after death and he believed that maybe, he would see his mother again. His mother died exactly fifty-six days ago. Eight weeks he has been living and breathing without her. It still hurt him to think about it. It still hurt. He had been numb for most of those eight weeks but not today.

Today was his first, last day of high school. He was a senior. Shouldn't his mother be here for this? Shouldn't she be making sure he's out of bed? Shouldn't she be calling his name to make sure he was in fact getting ready? Shouldn't he be smelling her famous french toast downstairs?

With a shake of his head, Julian rolled out of bed and headed toward the bathroom down the hall. To his surprise, it was actually vacant. He was grateful for that. He didn't feel like waiting around another twenty minutes for his sister to be in the bathroom. He stepped inside the decent sized bathroom and stood before the mirror. He didn't look any different than he did last year. Or did he? He couldn't tell you.

Julian groaned as there was a knock on the door. "I'm in here." He heard his father mutter that he was just checking that he was awake. He couldn't hate the guy for trying. He turned back toward the mirror and took a deep breath as he peeled open the medicine cabinet before him. Her toothbrush was still there. With a shake of his head, he quickly grabbed his green toothbrush and shut the cabinet. After he finished he debated against taking a shower. He just didn't feel up to it. He also decided against shaving. He brought a tired hand to his eyes as he made his way back to his room.

He didn't want to go to school. He didn't want to deal with anyone there. He was tired of the glances and the looks of his peers. They would stare at him and whisper to another that he was the kid that lost his mom before he would graduate from high school. He didn't even feel like applying for colleges but he knew he should or else he would be stuck here. Stuck in a stupid town with stupid people who never seemed to realize that there were a million places in the world they could be instead of here. See, Julian never understood why people chose to stay in one place when they could fly or drive anywhere in the world. He wanted to get away from it all. Go to a town where people wouldn't know him as the boy who lost his mother or the boy who lost everything. He didn't want to be that boy at all.

Once he got into his room, Julian opened his closet. He bit his lip as the clothes hang neatly in place. That was something he couldn't help but do. His clothes were all on their own colored hanger and they were perfectly smooth as they hung there perfectly. He reached for one of five plain white v-necks and quickly swamped his Tree Hill Ravens Basketball shirt for the v-neck. He then put on a pair of dark denim jeans and decided to call it a day. He glanced at himself only for a brief moment before he grabbed his messenger bag and slug it across his chest.

He could smell on thing as he walked downstairs: coffee. The only thing his father knew how to make. Julian blew out a breath as he walked into the decent sized kitchen to be greeted by his father who was pulling out a box of cereal.

"Today's the big day, huh?" Jimmy James spoke with a smile as he watched his son sit down at the kitchen island. He slid over the box of cereal and turned to grab a bowl, spoon and milk for his son. "Are you excited, JJ?"

Julian shrugged as he poured the box of Cap'n Crunch into the bowl. "I guess."

"That doesn't sound like an excited senior." Jimmy tried to joke but he watched as his son didn't even try to smile. Jimmy bit his lip. "Is your sister ready?"

Julian shook his head. He didn't know. When he walked downstairs her bedroom door was closed. "I don't know."

"I can't believe she's only a junior this year."

Julian couldn't help but agree with that. His sister was only a year younger than him but she acted older than he did. She had already started looking into colleges and scholarships last year. She was the responsible one. She was the glue that was keeping them somewhat of a family still. Well, she was trying too at least. "Yeah, I heard she wants Whitey for History this year."

Jimmy smiled at the mention of the basketball coach. "He's a great teacher. He ta-."

"Taught you and mom your junior year of high school, I know." Julian mumbled as he poured the milk into his cereal. He took a quick bite as he heard footsteps from above him. Within a few minutes he watched as his sister came dashing downstairs in her pajama's still. He rolled his eyes.

"I slept through my alarm!" Haley James muttered as she reached to grab a coffee cup. She quickly danced around her father as she poured herself a cup. "I can't believe I slept through my alarm."

Julian glanced at her but continued to eat his cereal. He was surprised that he was ready to go before she was. His sister was always on time, for everything. She was even on time when she was born. Not a second too early, not a second too late. Exactly on-time. He barely spoke to her the past summer. Mostly because she had gone to Washington, DC for some leadership program. They used to be close but lately, Julian couldn't find any words to utter toward her. He wondered if it was because the older she got, the more she looked like their mother. Maybe that's why it hurt to look at her or maybe because he felt guilty. He wasn't sure. His head snapped when he heard his father say his name. "What?"

Jimmy looked at his son then his daughter. "I asked if you're driving to school together?"

Haley bit her lip as she glanced at her brother before looking into her coffee cup. She had gotten home from DC two days ago and he barely uttered a word toward her. He asked how she was and then he asked if she needed to go shopping for any school supplies. Otherwise, nothing. She took a deep breath as she tried to smile at her father. "Lindsey is giving me a ride. Tradition."

"Right, tradition." Jimmy repeated as he tried to recall the memory of it. Being a newly single dad was a lot harder than what he thought it would be. He couldn't exactly remember what he was supposed to do on the first day of school. That wasn't his place, well not until now. "JJ, are you going to open gym later?"

Julian shrugged as he took the last bite of his cereal. He had placed on the varsity basketball team for the past three years but the thought of playing now, didn't seem like anything. It wasn't something he wanted to do anymore. He wasn't interested in it. It had been his whole entire life but the past two months seemed to put his life in some sort of perspective. Unlike half the guys on the team, Julian didn't need basketball to get into a decent college. He had somewhat good grades. He let out a breath as he stood up and walked toward the sink with his bowl. "I'll see you later." And with that, he left the kitchen.

Haley set down her coffee cup as she turned to see her father look in the direction her brother had just left. She brought a hand toward his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't speak for Julian and she certainly didn't feel it was her place. She knew how she was feeling but she couldn't pin-point what he was feeling. He was her brother, sure. However, he was different. Everyone knew that. She was different too, just in a different measure.

Jimmy turned toward his daughter and tried to muster up a smile. "I'm sorry."

Haley tilted her head as she glanced up at her father. "What for? You didn't do anything."

Jimmy shrugged as he leaned his arms against the kitchen island. His body was warn out. He worked the third shift at the water plant and due toward the lack of another income in the house, he had also picked up first shift. His body was exhausted but he needed to work hard. "I don't know what to do about JJ."

Haley didn't either but she didn't say that. She mumbled that he would come around but she wasn't sure he would. He was so distant and it was so weird to see her brother that way. He brother was usually caring and kind. He always brought his heart with him into situations even if they didn't involve around him. He was just the kind of guy who never let you down. She didn't know what happened to that version of him but as of lately, she didn't think she would see it again. At least not for awhile. Haley glanced at the clock above the stove and saw it was a little after seven-thirty. She had fifteen minutes to get ready. "I should probably get moving."

Jimmy smiled as he reached down and kissed her forehead. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

Haley smiled brightly at that as she rubbed her dad's arm. She quickly turned to head back upstairs but turned back around when she heard her father call her name.

Jimmy reached into his wallet and pulled out a few twenty-dollar bills. He quickly placed them into his daughter's hand.

Haley's eyes opened wide as she looked up at him. "What is this for?"

Jimmy tucked his wallet back into his pocket as he looked at his daughter. "I know you didn't get new clothes for school-."

"Dad-." Haley stopped when her father held up his hand.

"It was something you did with your mother and I know I won't be any help in that department so buy some clothes and try to buy some for your brother."

Haley nodded as she folded the money into her hand. She quickly closed the space between her father and her, and hugged him tightly to her. She pulled away with a smile as she turned and quickly walked up the stairs. She went into her room and sighed as she opened her closet. Her dad was true but her not getting back to school clothes. She had nothing new. A few tanks she got over the summer but nothing worthy of the first day of school. Haley didn't really care about her appearance but she knew her best friend did. She let out a breath as she listened out the hall to hear her father leaving through the back door. She bit her lip and ran down the hall toward the room at the end of it. She quickly opened the door and was welcomed with the familiar room. However, it wasn't as neat as it once was. The bed was unmade and the blinds were pulled down, giving the room a dark look. She quickly moved across the room toward the double doors.

Haley remembered being a small child and playing in her mother's closet. It was a walk-in closet and when she was young, she thought it was the biggest closet she had ever seen. However, that wasn't the case now. It was a decent sized closet but Haley had forgotten what it looked like until now. Her father had closed off the closet as if keeping it exactly the way it was, would bring her mother back. As Haley opened the doors she was welcomed with the familiar smell. She wanted to cry but she didn't. As she walked through the closet as she brought her hands across the handfuls of fabric there. Everything was hung just as her mother had wanted it. She took a deep breath as she reached in and pulled out a navy blue dress. She clutched the fabric in her hands before she pulled it away from her to examine it. She just wanted her mother to be there with her on the first day of school. She would put the dress back right after school and her father wouldn't know. She bit her lip harder as she quickly out of the closet and closed it slowly, as if preserving what she had uncovered. She quickly made her way toward her own room. It was seven-forty-two. She quickly took off her pajamas and threw the dress over her small frame. It was a bit big but she didn't mind. She touched her stomach and let her hands play with the fabric. She felt tears welt in her eyes and she let a few fall. She quickly shook her head as she heard a car horn from outside. She wiped her face and took her blonde hair so it sat on her head in a ballet bun. She got a pair of gray flats and looked at her appearance once more. She didn't bothering putting on make-up because she didn't feel she needed any. She didn't care to impress anyone. She was grateful she pre-packed her book-bag the night before. She quickly reached for it as she ran down the stairs and headed outside.

Haley smiled as she ran toward the blue Civic in the driveway. She quickly opened the door and fell into the seat. "Sorry I'm late."

"I wasn't waiting long." Lindsey Strauss said with a smile as she put the car in reverse and started to back-out of the drive-way. "Nice dress by the way."

Haley smiled as she played with the bottom of the dress. It ended just before her knees. She decided not to tell Lindsey it was her mother's. She wanted to keep that fact for herself. She turned her head as she listened to Lindsey ramble on about a book she had finished for summer reading the night before. Lindsey had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. They faced everything together. When Lindsey lost her father in eighth grade, Haley was there. When Haley lost her mother only eight weeks ago, Lindsey was there. They were sort of a packaged deal. Where one went, the other went. They understood one another and Haley was happy to have a friend like Lindsey. They brought out the best in another, something Haley would never take for granted.

Lindsey took a deep breath as she turned off of Merry Avenue toward Main Street. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Haley nodded as she looked out the window ahead of her. She didn't know how today was going to go. When she ended school last year, she had a mother but now she didn't. She had a good idea that the school knew. Well, she knew they did. Everyone in Tree Hill, North Carolina, knew each other. It was inevitable. "I guess so. I'm more worried about JJ."

Lindsey turned her head and offered Haley a small smile. Lindsey had known Julian for a good portion of her life. He had helped her in many ways and she couldn't help but find herself falling in love with him over the years. She would never dare say that to Haley though. Even though Haley was her best friend, she knew she could never go there. Plus, Julian had a girlfriend. Even though it was a girl that both she and Haley despised. "I'm sure he'll be okay."

"I guess but you know, he hasn't muttered a single word to me since-." Haley was cut off as a bird hit the windshield. It caused Lindsey to serve the car a bit until it came to a stop on the side of the road. Haley felt her breath catch in her throat.

Lindsey's eyes were wide as she tried to control her heart rate. "Are you okay?" She watched as Haley stared wide-eyed at her. "Hales?

Haley shook her head as she brought a hand over her face. She exhaled. "I'm fine." Haley said softly as she tried to smile at Lindsey. She knew she failed. "I can't be afraid of car's forever."

Lindsey remained silent for a moment but nodded her head as she gained control back over the car and headed in the direction of the school. Her pulse was still high. She could only wonder what Haley was feeling.

Haley didn't breath right until the car came to a stop in the parking lot. She practically jumped out of the car when Lindsey placed it into park. She took a deep breath as she came face to face with Tree Hill High School. She was both excited and scared to be there. She turned to see that Lindsey had made her way next to her.

"I can't believe we're juniors."

Haley nodded as the two walked toward the quad. It seemed like they were freshmen only yesterday. "I can't believe it either." She bit her lip as she walked toward the familiar picnic table. She sat down and watched as Lindsey took the spot across from her. She bit her lip as she looked around the quad. She was grateful when she saw her brother a few feet ahead of her at the popular table. However, he didn't look happy. He didn't look happy at all. She debated if she should go talk to him but she didn't bother. She turned her attention back to Lindsey who was giving her a weird look. "What?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Haley wasn't sure if she was referencing the car incident a few minutes before the fact that she was a seventeen year old, starting her junior year of high school without a mother. "I'm alright." She muttered as she turned her head only to have her eyes connect with a hazel pair she looked at him for a long moment but he shook his head and turned in the opposite direction. "He hates me."

Lindsey bit her lip as she watched the retreating figure of Clay Evans. Clay and Haley had dated for the past two years but this past summer, Haley had called it quits. Lindsey was surprised by that. Clay and Haley were the couple that everyone assumed would get married right after high school. That's just how perfect they were. "He doesn't hate you."

Haley gave Lindsey a long look but Lindsey merely shrugged. "I just hate that he's hurting, you know?"

Lindsey nodded at that. Clay and Haley were her best friends. However, with the recent break-up and Haley going to DC for over half the summer, she had spent the summer alone. Clay had told her that it was too hard to be friends with her while she was friends with Haley and she respected that. "He'll be alright." They sat together for a few more minutes before they heard the first bell ring. "Well, we're officially juniors!"

For a strange reason, Haley James could care less.

* * *

Brooke Davis smiled happily as she opened her new locker. She was a senior this year and she couldn't be more excited about the fact. She had accomplished many things in the past few years, well not very legal things but she had. She quickly dumped a few notebooks into the empty space as she smiled more. She could do this. She had proved her parents wrong for one. She was officially a senior and she was going to graduate. Something her parents and even herself didn't think would happen.

"So, where's your boyfriend?"

Brooke suppressed an eye-roll as she glanced to see Lucas Scott leaning against the locker next to hers. Lucas was her friend but that's all she saw him as. Sure, they had fooled around last year a few times but she wasn't that girl anymore. However, he didn't seem to take the hint. She took a deep breath as she closed her locker. "He's around here."

Lucas let out a small chuckle as he adjusted the strap to his back-pack. "He doesn't seem to care much about you lately."

Brooke narrowed her eyes as she held his gaze. "He's going through a lot right now."

"Sure." Lucas mocked as he shook his head. Truthfully, Lucas knew this. He knew not the be an asshole about the subject but he couldn't stand the fact that Brooke was with someone who wasn't him. She was the head cheerleader, he was the captain of the basketball team. They were practically already written to be together.

Brooke was about to mutter a string of not so friendly words in his direction but she felt an arm around her. She looked up and smiled softly at her boyfriend as she reached for his hand around her waist and quickly interlocked it with her own. She muttered a goodbye to Lucas as they walked down the hallway. "Hey handsome."

Julian smiled softly as he held her hand tightly to his. He knew he shouldn't be giving Brooke the cold shoulder but he couldn't help it. He didn't know what to say to her or anyone for that matter. She was a good girlfriend. She made him happy even if he didn't want to be happy. "You look like nice." And he meant it. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a brown camisole with a white cardigan over it. Her hair was curly as it rested just below her shoulders. He liked her hair that way best.

"Thanks, boyfriend." Brooke cheered as she reached up and kissed his cheek before settling back down and walking alongside him. "What's your first class?"

Julian glanced down at his schedule. He had English. Without muttering a word to Brooke, he shoved his schedule lightly in her direction. He watched her eyes glance over it before a frown made it's way toward her face. "What is it?"

Brooke gave him a sad dimpled grin as she looked up at him. "We don't have anything. Not even lunch."

Julian would say he was sad about that but he didn't want to be lying. He didn't feel through the hallway and seeing the stares of everyone had been enough to throw him over the edge. He slowly pulled his hand away from hers.

Brooke gave him a strange look as she held his schedule and hers between her fingers still. "Julian?"

Brooke was the only person to call him by his first name and not the nick-name he had for basically his whole life. She was a something that made his heart melt but at that moment, his heart just felt like a stone in his chest. "I can't do this."

"Julian, it's the first day-." Brooke watched as Julian shook his head as he started to walk backwards. She couldn't help but feel her heart slamming against her ribs. This summer had been hard. She went to California at the beginning only to come rushing home for Julian after hearing about his mother. At first, he had depended on her but that slowly ended. He rarely spoke to her two weeks after his mother's funeral. After that, it was like running through flaming hoops to get him to hangout with her. "Julian, you can't skip the first day of school."

Julian shook his head at her. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He hated the sad look on her face but he couldn't help himself. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be the kid who's mom died. He didn't want special treatment. He muttered an apology toward her before he quickly turned around and walked away from her and away from the school.

Brooke let out a breath as she watched him go. Things were definitely different. Julian had been her boyfriend since the middle of school last year. At first, it was just a simple fling but the more she knew him, the more she fell in love with him. He took her heart quickly and she wondered if that was why her heart hurt so much now. She was in love for the first time and the man she loved was hurting. She never experienced death. No one she loved has passed away. Sure, she hated her parents but if something were to happen to them, she would be sad. She knew how close Julian was to his mother though. It caused her heart to ache.

"Hey."

Brooke turned her head to see her best friend standing next to her. She let out a small breath as she looked at her fully. "Hey P. Sawyer."

Peyton Sawyer smiled softly at her best friend. She had watched the small exchange from her locker. Sure, she never agreed with her best friend half of the time but she didn't like when she was hurting, she didn't like it at all. "How are you doing?"

Brooke gestured toward the doors a few feet away from them. "I don't know what to do about him."

Peyton tried to muster up a smile but she knew it would do any good. "Let's just get to class, okay?"

Brooke looked at her then toward the direction her boyfriend had went in. "Okay."

* * *

Much to Haley's luck, her ex-boyfriend was in almost every single class with her. No matter what she tried to do, he wouldn't pay her any attention. He barely glanced at her. She bit her bottom lip as she listened to Whitey Durham rant on and on about the upcoming school year. Haley jotted down a few notes but otherwise, she didn't really care to listen. The whole beginning of the school day consisted of people muttering their apologies and their condolences. She just would mutter that she was fine with a thank you. She didn't know what else to say. She didn't realize how happy she was to hear the bell until it rang in the classroom. She quickly bottled from her spot in the front row toward the hallway. She made her way toward her locker and was grateful when she saw Lindsey already standing there. "Karma hates me."

Lindsey tilted her head as she stepped aside to let Haley into her locker. "Why do you say that?"

Haley practically laughed at herself as she stuffed her books into her locker. She shut it quickly as the two walked toward the cafeteria. "I have three classes with Clay and he won't even look at me. Oh wait, in Bio he looked at me because my stomach made a weird noise but that's basically it."

Lindsey scrunched up her face as the two made their way toward the forming line. "I'm sorry." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she glanced at Haley. "Did you hear about JJ?"

Haley's head snapped up as she moved in the line as she looked at Lindsey. "No? What happened?"

Lindsey let out a breath. "Well, you know how I'm taking senior classes? Well I have class with Brooke-."

"Just get to the point." Haley chuckled playfully as she watched Lindsey's face redden before nodding.

"Well, I guess he left before first period."

Haley was surprised by that. She bit her lip as she shook her head. She muttered something to Lindsey before she quickly stepped out of line and walked away from the cafeteria. She didn't know what to do about her brother. She knew she couldn't do anything about it but she didn't want him to jeopardize his future because of it. She took a deep breath as she headed toward the tutoring center. She let out a breath as she flicked on the lights and made her way toward a table in the middle of the room. She just needed to sit alone for awhile. Take a breath. Think. She really needed to think. As she traced circles on the table with her finger, she heard someone clearing their throat behind her. She turned and came face to face with Nathan Scott. He looked pretty confused as he stood in the doorway and Haley couldn't help but almost roll her eyes.

Nathan and Lucas Scott were the two most arrogant people she had ever met. Lucas was a year older than Nathan was, making Nathan her age. She had hated him from the beginning of time. At least, that's what it seemed like. He made sure to always make her life a living hell. In the fourth grade, he told everyone she peed her pants after spilling water into her lap. He also made sure to tell everyone she was a virgin who couldn't drive. She hated everything about him. "Can I help you?"

Nathan Scott wanted to roll his eyes. Of course Principal Turner would send him to the tutoring center when the spawn of satan was there. "I need a tutor."

"Figures." Haley snapped as she turned back in her seat. "The tutoring center isn't open right now. Come back next period."

"But you're sitting in here."

Haley kept her back turned as she felt her hands start to fist up in front of her. "Just go away, Nathan."

Nathan would have said a remark toward her but he watched as her shoulder's weighed down. Her back was to him and he bit his lip as he looked at the back of her. She would have called him an asshole by now. He let out a breath. He had heard about her mother passing from his own mother. Nathan had gone to High Flyers the past summer, so he wasn't home. He knew his mother was good friends with Lydia James and he knew how close Haley was to her mother from the few instances he saw them together at basketball games. He brought his hand toward his face and let out a sigh. "Do you want to talk?"

Haley scoffed at that. "To you? No."

Nathan felt his temper rise. He wasn't even being mean to her. However, the more he studied the back of her, the more he watched her shoulder's bounce up and down. She was crying. "Haley-."

Haley turned around quickly and stared at him. She didn't even care that she was crying. She didn't even care that he was there watching her cry. She knew he would make fun of her about it later but she didn't care. She just wanted to be left alone. "Can you just leave me alone!" Haley snapped quickly as she turned back around. She wiped her face as she began tracing small invisible circles onto the table again. It seemed to be the only thing to calm her down.

Nathan let out a breath as he hit the blue slip in his hand against the other. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about your mom." He didn't offer anything else. He merely turned around and shut the door behind him.

* * *

Julian sat in his bed for a long time. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed but when he heard the front door open and close, he knew his sister was home. He debated getting up and locking his door but he didn't feel like moving. He remained sitting there. He could hear her moving around downstairs before he heard her make her way upstairs. He knew she was right outside his room because the dead-spot in the floor gave out a noise. He should have locked the door.

Haley took a deep breath as she opened the door and slowly walked inside of it. She saw Julian in the same clothes as he was in this morning. However, he looked exhausted. He wasn't even looking at her. "Principal Turner said he'll excuse you from today but you can't do this anymore."

Julian wanted to roll his eyes but he didn't care. Of course his perfect sister had gone to the principal and made up and excuse about him not being in school. He didn't even care to figure out how she found out. He just wanted to be left alone but he couldn't find himself to utter a word.

Haley brought her bottom lip between her teeth as she cross her arms across her chest. "Are you going to say anything?" Julian finally looked at her. She watched as he took in her appearance.

"What are you wearing?" Julian watched as Haley crossed her arms tighter across herself, as if she was trying to cover herself up. He knew that dress wasn't hers. He had seen his mother in it plenty of times. "Why are you wearing that?"

Haley wanted to cry again but she didn't. "JJ-."

Julian stood up quickly as he ripped her hands away from her chest. He felt his anger rising as he looked at her. "Why are you wearing that!"

Haley pulled herself away from him as she tried to just leave his room. However, Julian pulled her back to him. He wouldn't let go of her arm and it was starting to tingle. "Julian, that hurts."

Julian couldn't hear her. All he could see was his mother. The last time his mother wore that dress was his birthday last year. She had laughed in that dress. She had told him she loved him in that dress. Haley was taking it. Haley was taking the part of his mother in that dress away. She was ruining everything. He was brought back to reality when he heard her crying. He looked at his hand and noticed she was twisting around as she tried to get away. He let his hand drop.

Haley stared a him as she felt her tears flowing freely down her face. She was about to run out of the room but she saw her father take up the space in the doorway.

Jimmy looked in the room and stared at his son. Once he had walked int he doorway, he had heard his daughter screaming. He quickly made his way upstairs to the scene before him. "What's going on in here?"

Haley shook her head as she glanced at Julian before moving past her father and running toward her own room.

Julian let out a shaky breath as he fell back onto his bed.

Jimmy let out a breath as he looked at his son. "JJ?"

"Nothing..nothing is going on."

Jimmy nodded his head as he looked at his son for another moment before turning around and leaving from his spot in the doorway.

Julian took a moment before he stood up and slammed his door closed. This time, he locked the door. He let out a ragged breath as he turned toward his room. Everything about it reminded him of her. She had painted it. She had made the quilt across his bed. She had held him when he was a small child in this room. He suddenly felt sick. He made his way toward the closet and opened it quickly. He started to pull out everything in it. He threw the clothes behind him, not caring where they landed. When he threw the last hanger, he fell toward the ground and cried. His mom should be here. She should be here with him telling him that he would be okay without her. She should be here. As he laid down on the clothing beneath him, he felt his eyes start to close. He swore he could hear her singing as he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter Two

Hey, guys! So, I started writing a new story and I'm super excited for it and I'm **super excited** for all the feedback I've already gotten! You guys are awesome at that. I haven't really written a high school fic, so I wanted to take the approach and twist it a bit. I've gotten a few messages about not liking Brooke's character at the moment and I want to say, I don't really either but that's why I like her. If that makes sense. My favorite thing about Brooke is her character development in the series and I hope I can somewhat capture it here. She won't become the Brooke we all love right away but I can promise you that she'll get there. However, here's the second chapter and I hope you all enjoy it. Let me know what you think & happy reading.

* * *

_Two_

Haley slammed her bedroom door behind her as soon as she opened it. She let out a shaky breath as she started to quickly take the navy blue dress off. She flinched when she stretched her arms up to pull it over her head. As she put on a pair of jeans she looked into the mirror on her vanity. Her left arm was starting to bruise. She shook her head as she went toward her closet and pulled out a red t-shirt. Within a few minutes she could feel her walls vibrate from the music in her brother's room. Typical. She looked at her arm once more before she heard a light knocking at her door before her father pushed it open. She took a small breath as she smiled at him through the mirror before turning around.

"You okay, Haley-bop?"

Haley smiled at her nickname from her father. She nodded her head as she wrapped her arms back around her small frame. She didn't really feel like getting into what just happened. The past few days she basically walked on eggshells around her brother. She took a deep breath as she watched her father walk toward the bed and pick up the navy dress. "Dad-."

Jimmy signaled for her to stop as he held the fabric in his hands. He felt his heart swell up in his chest. "I remember when I got this dress for your mother. She looked so beautiful in it." He recalled the day. After he got off work one day, he was driving buy a small boutique in town and he saw the dress on one of the mannequins. It was so beautiful and simple. He knew his wife would love it. "You look just like her in it."

Haley couldn't form words at first. She simply nodded her head as she watched him play with the fabric in his hands. She didn't know what to say. She felt guilty about wearing it. After hearing Julian, she felt wrong. She just wanted her mom there. She wanted to start her junior year of high school with her mother and the closet thing she could do was to wear something her mother had once worn. "I'm sorry I wore it."

Jimmy looked at the dress for another moment before he turned to his daughter with a confused expression. "Now, why would you say that?"

Haley remembered when she was a little over seven. Her father and Julian had gone to a baseball game and Haley remembered being so sad about it. She cried but her mom had let her try on her clothes. She was so excited about it. Her mom's laughter filled up her ears but she quickly shook her head at her thoughts. "I just know I shouldn't have went into mom's closet..I'm really sorry."

Jimmy nodded as he laid the dress back onto the bed. He knew sooner or later he would have to get rid of Lydia's things but he couldn't right now. It was so fresh that it didn't even seem real. "You should keep it."

Haley shook her head as she looked at her father as if he was speaking in a different language. "I can't do that."

"Sure you can." Jimmy smiled at her and then let out a soft yawn. "I'm gonna lay down before I go back to work." He opened his arms and was happy that Haley walked into them. He held her to him tightly and kissed the top of her head. "Did you have a good first day?"

Haley nodded as she kept her arms around her father. Her relationship with her father was closer than it ever was. She hated that it was because of the circumstances. Once she let go she smiled at her father warmly. "Do you want me to wake you up after my shift at the café?"

Jimmy was surprised by that. "Are you sure you wanna work so soon?"

"Yeah." Haley mumbled as she thought about it. She had worked at Karen's Café for the past year but because of this summer and her leadership program in DC, she hadn't gone back to work. She desperately needed the money though. Sure, her dad left her some money to buy groceries but it was barely enough. She also needed to be able to buy a few random things for herself. She really needed a car too. "It will help me get back into a schedule."

Jimmy nodded as he brought his hand and patted Haley's shoulder. He smiled at her before he disappeared out of the room.

Haley bit her lip as she turned back toward her mirror. Her hair was still in a ballet bun but it was awfully frizzy. She didn't really care about it. She reached down and quickly covered her face lightly with some blush. Then, she placed a golden eye shadow on. She topped it off with some eye-linear but that's all she did. She took a deep breath as she looked around her room and picked up the small bag off the back of her desk chair. She let out a groan as she heard Julian turn his music up. She knew her father wouldn't say anything to him about it, even if he was trying to sleep. She felt the bruise on her arm and decided not to say anything to him either. She quickly made her way out of her room and down the hallway towards the stairs. She practically took them two at a time. As she opened the front door she was greeted with someone on the opposite side: Brooke Davis.

See, Haley didn't really know Brooke but the things she did know, she didn't like. For instance, when her brother started dating Brooke, she took him to get a tattoo on their first date. She had him skip school, she had him out past curfew and lastly, before dating Julian, Brooke made her life a living hell. Haley narrowed her eyes as she glanced at the brunette across from her. "Can I help you?"

Brooke tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Um, is Julian here?"

"He lives here, doesn't he?"

Brooke bit her tongue as she tried to smile at the blonde across from her. Lately, Brooke had been feeling sentimental. She wasn't feeling like mocking Haley for her ugly ass sweaters or anything like that. Recently, Brooke had been wanting to change. She wanted to be a better person. However, she knew it wouldn't be easy. She had a reputation. "Can I come in?"

Haley bit her lip. She was just about to shake her head but she felt someone come up behind her. She turned to see Julian. She hadn't even heard him come downstairs. She didn't bother sticking around for that though. She made her way past Brooke and onto the small brick pavement leading from their front door toward the sidewalk. Haley liked walking to work. She liked walking in general. It only took her a few minutes to walk to work, so she didn't mind it. As she got closer toward the café, she felt her stomach turn in her stomach. She hadn't exactly asked for her job back but she was hoping she would get it. She slowly pulled open the door and was welcomed with soft cold air. The café was pretty much deserted but it always was until dinner time. She closed the door behind her as she walked more into the café. "Hello?"

Karen Scott popped her head out from the kitchen. She smiled brightly as she took in the small girl. "Haley James, it's great to see you kiddo."

Haley smiled as she watched Karen walk toward her with open arms. She happily stepped inside of them as she wrapped her own arms around the woman. Karen was her mother's best friend. They had been friends in high school and they even seemed to be pregnant around the same times. It was weird to think that someone as sweet as Karen Scott had Lucas and Nathan as her children. It just didn't seem to fit.

As Haley let go of Karen, she tried to smile. "I have a favor."

Karen took the towel that was on her shoulder and threw it onto the counter beside her. "You have my attention." Karen teased as she smiled at the girl before her. Haley was the splitting image of her mother. From her hair to her button nose, she looked like a younger version of Lydia James.

Haley bit her lip as she glanced around the café. "I was wondering if I could have my old job back..if not, I'll work for free or something. Even if that means taking out the garbage or-"

"Haley." Karen interrupted with a smile as she looked at the girl. "Of course you can have your old job back. I'd be lucky to have you."

Haley tried not to jump up and down at that. She had come up with plenty of ideas to convince Karen of giving her the job. She was surprised it had been so simple. She glanced around the café and was welcomed with a soft sense of nostalgia. Her mother used to loving coming here."When can I start?"

Karen smiled as she picked up the rag from the counter and threw it softly in Haley's direction. "Today would be great."

Haley held the rag tightly between her fingers as she smiled brightly before walking past Karen and toward the kitchen. She knew exactly what to do. She walked toward the sink and started to finish the job Karen had seemed to start before she came. She place the rag onto her shoulder as she filled up half of the sink with warm water and soap. She began dipping the frying pans and plates into it by hand. As she was finishing her last plate, she heard the front door open. She peeked through the small space between the kitchen and the front of the café. It was Nathan and a few of his friends that Haley didn't know by name. She watched as Nathan kissed his mom on the cheek. She looked away. As she started to drain the sink, she heard someone behind her. She was happy to see Karen standing there with a smile. "I just did what I did before."

Karen smiled as she nodded her head at Haley. "You're still the quickest dishwasher I've ever had."

Haley smiled as she let out a breath. "What do you need me to do now?"

Karen nodded toward the dining part of the café. "Do you care getting their drinks as I start up the grill?"

Haley couldn't really say no. Not when she's only had her job for for the past ten minutes. She nodded her head but didn't bother trying to smile. She wiped her hands on her jeans as she reached for an apron hanging by the grill. She quickly wrapped it around herself as she felt around for a waiter pad and a pen. She let out a breath as she made her way toward the table. They were all loud and they were all too rowdy for her liking. She cleared her throat but they didn't seem to pay attention to her. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Nathan looked behind him and took in the small body. He was somewhat glad to see she wasn't crying anymore. He shook his head at the idea. "I'll have water."

Haley listened as they all muttered that they wanted water before getting back into their loud conversation about the basketball team. She made her way toward the waiter station as she started filling cups with ice and water. As she turned her head to look back at them, she noticed that Nathan was already staring at her. She let out a breath as she quickly turned away.

* * *

"Sorry about the mess." Julian muttered as he pushed open his bedroom door before leading Brooke into his room. He had fallen asleep for a few minutes there but he woke up once he heard his father and Haley talking. He was heading downstairs to eat when he saw his girlfriend in the doorway with Haley. He hadn't expected her to come over but at the same time, he did.

"It's okay." Brooke muttered as she made her way through the room. Julian's room was usually never messy. Last year, she wasn't even allowed upstairs. A rule his mother had put on them at the beginning of their relationship. She spun around as she brought her hands together. The room literally was a mess. There were clothes and hangers everywhere. "How about I clean this up and you can lay down or something?"

Julian shook his head but Brooke pushed on his chest lightly so he fell onto the bed. He sighed as she stood before him. She was still in the clothes he had seen her in earlier. She looked amazing. However, he didn't feel like himself. Usually, he would be trying to kiss her but he didn't feel like it. He hated himself for it really. Here he was with his beautiful girlfriend and he didn't want to even be near her. He was afraid but he wasn't sure what for. "You don't have to do this."

Brooke let in a breath as she looked around the room. "I really don't mind." She gave him a dimply grin as she leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Let me do this for you."

Julian took a minute before he felt himself nod. She kissed his cheek again before she headed toward the closet. He laid fully down in his bed and closed his eyes.

Brooke decided to start with the hangers first. She gathered them up one by one and then began to individually place the shirts onto them. She wanted to help him but she wasn't exactly sure how. She just wanted him to know she was there. He kept blocking her out and the more days passed, the more it seemed to hurt her. After she was done with the closet, she made her way around the room picking up various dirty clothes and a few random objects. She organized his desk and picked up a picture that was turned over of his mother. The thing Brooke liked most about Lydia James was that she always treated her like a person. She helped her and she often gave her advice that at the time she didn't think she needed.

Brooke turned her head and watched as Julian remained laying on the bed with his eyes closed. She looked back at the picture before she turned it face down on the desk. It was clear it had been placed that way and she didn't want to upset him. She took a deep breath as she walked toward the other side of the bed and slowly laid down next to him. Who knew that Brooke Davis would be scared to lay in bed next to a boy? "Julian."

Julian opened one eye as he noticed she was next to him. He let out a shaky breath before her reached for her. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

Brooke placed her head between his shoulder and his neck. She felt his arm wrap tighter around her waist. They had done this plenty of times before but it felt so different. She closed her eyes as she tried to hold onto him tighter. "Julian, I need you to let me in."

Julian squeezed his eyes tighter. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to do anything. He merely laid there with her pressed up against him.

Brooke brought her free hand to the side of his face. "Can you talk to me?"

About what? Julian wanted to ask but he remained silent. He couldn't form words and he didn't really want too. He wanted to lay there and he wanted to not think. All he did was think. Sleep didn't help. Music didn't help. Talking sure as hell wouldn't help. He heard her whisper his name again. "Brooke, can we just drop it?" He snapped as he let his arm from her waist drop onto the bed beside her.

Brooke remained still for a moment before she slowly pulled away from him. She rolled away toward the other side of the bed. She looked up at the ceiling and felt her heart constrict in her chest. She had some many things to say. She wanted to talk to him about everything. At the beginning of their relationship, she couldn't get him to stop talking. He would talk to her about books or movies. He would always try to grasp her attention with something. Now, it seemed that he cared less that she was even in the room. The realization hurt her bad. She felt that way enough with her own parents. Her parents made her question her intelligence, her appearance and her overall being. She didn't want the person she was utterly in love with to do the same. She couldn't bare it. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"Who says I want your help?" Julian muttered angrily as he quickly sat up and moved so his back was to Brooke.

Brooke almost gasped but she didn't. She looked at his back in shock before she slowly put herself in and upward position as well. "Julian, this isn't like you. Ditching the first day of school? Not talking to Haley.. it's just-."

Julian could have said something but he didn't feel like it. He didn't feel like turning toward her and telling her that he loved her even though he did. Instead, once he turned toward her, he connected his lips to hers.

Brooke was shocked by the sudden change but she kissed him back. As they started to fall into the bed, she felt something wet on her cheek. She pulled away and saw that he was crying. "Julian-."

"I can't do this." He pulled more away from her. He gave her one last look before he made his way out of the room.

* * *

As Haley started wiping down the front counter, she could hear Karen singing from the kitchen. It brought a smile to her face. She missed singing with her mother. It was their thing. She let out a breath as she placed the rag over her shoulder and reached to grab the trash. As she spun around, she smiled at Karen who had came to the front as she remained singing.

Karen smiled bashfully before she stopped singing entirely to look at Haley. "You did a good job today, kiddo."

Haley smiled softly as she twirled the garbage bag in her hands. It had been somewhat of a slow day until the dinner rush. Haley didn't know how she managed it but she had danced around the café like it was her second nature. She liked the café best when it was moving. "Thanks and thank you again for giving me my job back."

Karen smiled at her but it faded softly.

"What's wrong?" Haley asked as she glanced at Karen concerned. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, not at all." Karen said calmly as she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "He's going to kill me for doing this but can I ask you for a favor?"

Haley bit the inside of her cheek as she felt herself nodding at Karen.

"Nathan needs a tutor and I hear you're the best. I just.. things are stressful for him and he's not the best at school. I would really appreciate it."

It's not like she could say no to that. As much as Haley despised Nathan, Karen had been a wonderful person to her growing up. Karen was also a huge help for their family the past few months. She had made dozens of frozen dinners for them and she had given Haley her job back. She bit the inside of her cheek hard as she felt herself nod. "I'll talk to Turner about it tomorrow."

Karen smiled wide at Haley. "Thank you." She was about to turn around when the front door opened. Karen smiled at the boy. "Sorry but we're closed."

Haley turned her head and saw Clay standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. "Clay, hey."

Karen looked between the pair and smiled. She reached down and took the garbage bag from Haley's hand. Haley turned to her with a confused expression but she ignored it. "You've been here long enough. I can finish up."

"Are you sure?" Haley watched Karen nod before disappearing back into the kitchen humming. Before turning back around to face Clay, Haley took a deep breath. She untied her apron and threw it onto the counter before she made her way toward him. "Hey."

Clay nodded as he took in a deep breath. Seeing Haley at school had been hard but seeing her this up-close was even harder. "I stopped by your house and you weren't there."

"Yeah. I got my job back." Haley muttered almost shyly as she watched Clay open the door and walk outside with her behind him. This was weird. She couldn't even tell you the last time they were alone together. Well, she did know that. The day they broke up had been their last time completely alone. Clay hadn't taken it as easily as she had. Not that she assumed he would. "How are you?"

Clay let out a small laugh. "Very original, Hales."

He was using her nick-name. So, he didn't hate her that much. Well, she hoped he didn't. Clay was her best friend for almost as long as Lindsey was. They were great friends. However, high school and hormones quickly changed the childish friendship into something else. They had a good relationship, she wouldn't ever doubt that but after her mother's death, it just didn't seem like enough. It seemed to be lacking something and Haley still didn't have a clue at what that could be. "I know but how are you?"

Clay sucked in a breath as he walk alongside her. Even though it was late summer, it was a cool night. "I'm alright. How are you?"

Haley shrugged as she looked ahead of her. "I guess I'm alright too."

Clay wanted to beg for her to take him back but he didn't want to seem that desperate. He was still so in love with her. He was almost certain that his whole life had consisted of being fully and stupidly in love with Haley James. "Yeah, I heard about JJ today."

"Yeah." She didn't know what else to say. She wished she could confide in him the way she used too but she didn't want to upset him. She didn't want to lead him on or hurt him more than she already had. "You kinda avoided me today."

Clay knew he had. He didn't do it intentionally but he couldn't let himself near her without being completely enchanted by her. They had classes together but he always made sure to sit on the opposing side of her. Except Biology. Of course karma would make it so they were lab partners. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's alright." Haley mumbled as she turned to smile at him slightly. She hadn't realized they had made it to the front of her house. She let out a breath as she stared at it before she turned toward him. "Did you need something? When you stopped by earlier?" She suddenly realized that he had gone out of his way to see her.

Clay shrugged as he stuffed his hands deeper into his pant pockets. "I wondered what your predictions would be for this year."

Haley had forgotten about that. The haze in her life had caused her to forget about her tradition with Clay. For the past three years they had made predictions about the upcoming school year and sealed it with a kiss. The first time they kissed had been on accident but once they started dating, it seemed only right. Well, at the time at least. Haley didn't know what she predicted for the this school year. Everything seemed to be in some sort of limbo. "I'm not sure. You?"

Clay stared at her and watched as the few wisps of hair not held in her bun fell around her. She was his idea of perfect. She was everything he wanted. "You and I will be together again."

Haley closed her eyes. She hated the determination in his voice. She hated that she hurt him because she did care for him. She did. She wanted him to be happy and in love but not with her. She opened her eyes and felt like crying. "Clay.."

"Haley, just hear me out."

"Clay, no." Haley crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at him. "I told you-."

"You can only be my friend right now. I get that." Clay muttered as he continued to stare at her. "You and I-" He gestured between the two of them. "We make sense. Everyone knows we make sense. You get me and I get you."

Haley turned her attention back toward her house as she heard him continue to ramble on. She heard this speech before. She heard it the day she broke up with him and she heard it a few days afterward on her voicemail.

As she looked at the house, she took in a deep breath. She had always lived there. 425 Dock Road. She grew up in that house. She could walk in it blindfolded. The thought of her mother not being in there once she opened the door, caused her chest to get heavy. She would do anything for another day, another hour, another second. She was pulled of her thoughts when she heard Clay say her name. "What?"

Clay let out a breath as he watched her eyes come back toward him. "I'm just.. after the accident Haley you changed and you made decisions that you didn't realize you were making."

"I realized what decision I was making, Clay." Haley felt her temper rise. This argument also felt familiar. Clay always decided he knew what she did and didn't feel. Maybe he did know her better than she knew herself but she hated when he just assumed he did.

"Then why did you end this? I try to pin-point what I did wrong and I don't see it! We were meant for each other, Haley!"

Haley felt tears weld in her eyes as she felt his breath against her face. He was yelling at her. Not in a way of being mean but he was yelling at her because he was hurting. She shook her head as she took a step back. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Are you sure about that? Because you decided to throw me to the side without a first notice."

Haley felt a tear drop down from her face but she refused to take her eyes off of him. The vein in his neck was popped. She knew it was because he was agitated. She could see it whenever he did badly on an exam or when he lost a basketball game. "Please don't do this right now."

"Then when, Haley? I left you alone all summer and I think I deserve some answers."

Haley shook her head as she started to head up toward her house. She was walking backwards so she could look at him. She was also crying. "I can't do this right now." She whispered it as she reached the front door. She quickly opened it and pulled herself inside. Once she closed it, she spun around and rested her forehead against the wood. She counted to ten before she made her way into the kitchen to grab a snack before bed. She was somewhat surprised to see Julian sitting at the kitchen table. What surprised her most was the fact that he was laughing. She gave him a long look before she went toward the fridge. When she pulled out a water bottle, his laughter only increased. "Did I miss something?" When Julian turned toward her, she realized his eyes were blood-shot. She set her water bottle on the kitchen island before making her way toward him. "Are you.." She pulled his face toward her. "Julian, don't tell me you're high,"

"I'm not.." Julian let out a laugh as he pulled his face away from her. "high."

Haley groaned as she started to pace the kitchen floor. "Where did you..I'm not even going to ask. Brooke probably-."

"Stop blaming my girlfriend for everything, priss."

Haley paused. "Excuse me?"

Julian laughed again as he nodded at her. "Sorry we can't all be.." he laughed more. "a perfect virgin like Haley Marie James!"

Haley didn't know what had happened or caused her to move so quickly but suddenly, her hand made it's way across his face. The slap echoed in the kitchen and after realizing what she did, she walked backward and brought her hands to cover her mouth. "Julian.."

Julian felt everything come to perspective as the pain in his cheek started to overcome the high he was feeling. He gulped as he felt the left side of his face pulsing. He deserved it. He had hurt Haley earlier and the pain of that wasn't even close to the pain he felt on his face.

"Haley-bop, you're home."

Haley dropped her hands and tore her eyes off of Julian as she watched her father come down into the kitchen. She quickly shook her head. "I'm sorry I'm late. I know I told you that I'd wake you up."

Jimmy shook his head as he walked toward his daughter and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I may be old but I still know how to handle an alarm clock." He waited for some sort of reaction but he was only answered with silence. He turned toward Julian. "JJ, when I woke up I had a message from the school. What happened buddy?"

Julian slowly turned his head to look at his father. He didn't know. He never knew. "I'm sorry." He didn't know if he was speaking to his father or Haley.

Jimmy let out a breath as he looked at his son. "Just, try for me alright? I need you to try." Jimmy watched as his son nodded as he stood up and made his way out of the kitchen.

Haley watched Julian leave and glanced back down at her hand. She felt so horrible. They never played rough as kids. It was exactly the opposite. Julian was overprotective but it seemed like that Julian was long gone. Haley turned to watch her father going through the fridge. "Do you want me to make you something before work?"

Jimmy looked at her and shook his head. "You can go to sleep for me."

Haley nodded as she made her way toward her father before quickly wrapping her arms around him. She held onto him tightly and almost cried into his chest.

"What's wrong?"

Haley took a minute before she pulled away. "Nothing. Just, thank you for being my dad."

Jimmy smiled at her as he kissed her forehead. "Thank you for being my daughter."

Haley told him goodnight before she made her way upstairs. She took a deep breath as she walked past her own room and toward Julian's. She wanted to apologize. She needed to apologize. She brought her hand around the knob and opened it. She was happy that it wasn't locked but he wasn't there. When she checked the empty bathroom, she figured he probably had escaped out his window. However, much to her surprise, when she opened her own bedroom door she saw him sitting on her bed with a picture frame in his hands. She shut the door softly behind her as she walked so she was before him.

The picture was taken years ago. Julian was five and she was four. Julian's head was resting against their mom's shoulder and Haley's head was laying in her lap. It was a perfect candid photo. "I love that picture of her." Haley mumbled as she took in the smile her mother wore. It was so genuine and real.

Julian nodded as he looked up at his sister. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." She bit her lip as he handed the picture frame back in her direction. "I'm the one who's sorry." Julian didn't say anything. He sat there staring off into space. "Julian?"

"I miss her."

Haley remained standing where she was as she looked down at her brother. "I do too."


	3. Chapter Three

_Three_

"And you told her that you would do it?"

Haley sat at the picnic table listening to Lindsey baffle over the fact that she had agreed to tutor Nathan. She couldn't really believe it herself. It was officially the second day of school and she was staring terrified at Nathan Scott. She didn't know why she was so nervous. She hated him. She brought her attention back toward the girl across from her. She hadn't told Lindsey about her encounter with Clay yet. Actually, she didn't really want to tell her. She felt horrible about it and the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to shut off her brain entirely. She turned her attention back toward Nathan for a moment. He was sitting at another picnic table and smirking at something Bevin Mirskey was saying. She hated to admit it but Nathan was one of the more attractive boys at school. His raven-hair sat close to his head and his blue eyes made girls swarm like flies in the hallway.

"What was that?"

Haley snapped her head back toward Lindsey as she heard the bell ring. "What was what?"

Lindsey laughed softly as she stood up and walked alongside Haley as they made their way inside the school. "You were muttering something about Nathan."

Haley didn't remember saying anything. She shrugged as she muttered a goodbye to Lindsey as she went in the opposite direction toward her own locker. As she did the small combination she turned to see her brother on the opposite end of the hallway. She was happy he had actually decided to show up to school. She had gotten up before he had and was quickly out the door with her father. Her father would drive her to school as he drove to work. She could drive with Julian but he usually picked up Brooke and she had experienced that moment far to much for her liking.

"I'm probably going to sound really stupid asking this but can you help me with my locker?"

Haley turned her attention away from her brother and toward the boy on the other side of her locker. His hair was a curly dark brown and his eyes shimmered dark green with flicks of brown. She realized she had no idea who he was. She remembered what he had asked of her and she quickly shook her head at herself before nodded and taking the small locker code from his hands. She spun the dial a few times and gave it a swift hit in the middle before it popped open. "Sometimes a good punch is all you need." She smiled at him softly before she turned toward her own locker.

"Thank you. I tried to get someone to help me yesterday but it was like I was in exile or something."

Haley chuckled as she reached her hand over. "Haley James."

"Jake Jagielski." Jake brought his hand toward hers and gave it a small shake before turning into his own locker as well. "Is it that obvious that I have no clue what I'm doing?"

Haley chuckled again. "Tree Hill is a pretty decent sized town. Everybody knows everybody or at least knows somebody who knows everybody."

"Should I be slightly terrified?" Jake was amused by the blonde. He was the new kid and no one seemed to care for who he was. Being a new kid in high school was like asking for the kiss of death. People rarely stepped out of their clicks to talk to you. He maybe uttered a few words to the lunch lady yesterday but that's as social as he got.

"It's high school, if you're not terrified I'd be pretty worried." Haley smiled at him as she reached to close her locker. "I hope you have a better day than yesterday."

Jake smiled at that. "I am already."

Haley smiled once more before she turned around and headed toward the main office. She really didn't want to do this. The thought caused her stomach to turn and it made her slightly nauseous. Nathan didn't deserve a tutor. Last year he had used Gigi Silveri for basically everything and anything academic and of course being Nathan Scott, he didn't get in trouble with it. That fact made her nerves disappear with something else; hatred. She wasn't doing this for him though. She was doing this for Karen.

Haley smiled softly at the ladies behind the front desk before she walked down the hallway toward Principal Turner's office. She had four minutes before he would do morning announcements. She sucked in a deep breath as she tapped lightly on the door.

"Come in."

Haley pushed open the door softly and tried her best to muster up a smile or at least try not to throw up at what she was about to do.

"Haley, this is a surprise."

Haley smiled at him as she remained standing. She brought a hand to her hair and tucked a piece behind her ear. "I um, wondered if I could talk to you about Nathan Scott for a minute."

Turner Williams turned his attention toward the small girl at let out a sigh. "I know you're still upset about last year but the-."

"That's not why I'm here." Haley interrupted softly. She was torn between throwing up and stabbing herself in the eye with a pencil. "I wondered if I could be his tutor."

"Wait, what?"

Haley let out a small breath as she repeated herself. It was clearly evident that everyone and their brother knew how much she despised Nathan. After hearing about what he did to Gigi, Haley made it her life duty to make him get in trouble for it. However, the school board, which was run by his father, didn't seem to care that he went against academic policy. "I think I could really help him this year."

Turner nodded his head, stunned. "I think that would be great, Haley." He smiled at her widely as he reached onto his desk and pulled out a blue form. "I'll fill this out and have it sent to him by first block."

Haley nodded her head and quickly turned around to leave. It was officially done, she couldn't take it back now. Even though she so desperately wanted too. She made her way toward her first class before the bell rang and wasn't surprised that the only seat open in her French class was the one next to Clay. He looked at her as she entered the room but after that, he acted like she didn't exist.

French was Haley's favorite class. She loved speaking it but she mostly loved reading in French. It was such a beautiful language. Since it was a level four class, they had a lot of readings to do, so most of the class time was focused around working. Haley wouldn't complain there. However, instead of being in the comfort of reading she watched as her brother walked past the classroom in the empty hallway. She narrowed her eyes and quickly asked to be excused before getting out of her seat and following him. She watched as he stood before the front doors. "I wouldn't do that."

Julian turned around slowly and let out a breath. "Do what?"

Haley looked around the hallway as if she was nervous someone would round the corner and yell at them for being out of class. She closed the gap between her and Julian as she stood a few feet before him. "You told dad you would try."

"I am trying."

Haley narrowed her eyes. "Congratulations for making it through-." She glanced down at the watch on her wrist. "twenty-three minutes of school."

Julian rolled his eyes and he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper before shoving it in Haley's direction. "I got a schedule change. First period is AV but if you'd like to accuse me of more things, feel free too."

Haley looked at him as she unfolded the piece of paper. He was true to his word. She saw his first block was in fact AV. She started to fold up the paper but Julian snatched it out of her hands. "I was giving it back."

"Whatever." Julian snapped as he folded it himself. "Can I get going to class or are you going to waste more of my time?"

Haley took a moment to realize that Julian had actually dressed decently for the day. Well, it was his first official day back at school. He was wearing a pair of jeans and band t-shirt that she never heard of. She was surprised that his face was actually shaved and his hair looked combed through. She glanced down at her own appearance: a worn out American Eagle shirt and a pair of blue jeans. She looked so plain next to him even though she was practically in the same thing. Her brother was the popular kid and she was just Haley. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever. You're not my mother, okay? Stop acting like it." Julian didn't even realize what he was saying until he had already said it. He didn't mean for it to come out so harshly but it had. He knew what he said was bad from not only listening to himself but from the look on Haley's face.

Haley didn't bother to say anything that time. She shook her head and turned around. She let out a breath as she made her way back into her class. She didn't feel like reading anymore. She didn't really feel like doing much of anything. She sat there until the bell rang and once it had, she practically ran out of the room.

The rest of the day had been somewhat of a blur. She took her notes and she did most of the experiment in Bio without muttering a word to Clay. She was happy for that. She couldn't deal with that right now. After lunch, she made her way into the tutoring center and was somewhat surprised to see Nathan seated at one of the tables. She closed her eyes and counted to five before opening them again. He was still there. She wanted to let out a wail but she didn't. She made her way toward the table and plopped herself down. Without speaking to him, she reached for the manila folder in front of him and pulled it toward her. She looked over his grades. She was a bit surprised at how high his calculus grade was. She barely managed to pull out a ninety and he had gotten an eighty-six. His GPA was total crap though. That was probably why he needed tutoring. She then moved her eyes toward his current schedule. She popped her eyes back up at him. "You're supposed to be in World History right now."

Nathan nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Some people skip class."

Haley rolled her eyes and made sure not to hide it. "Clearly."

Nathan smirked at her as he sat back in his chair. He brought his hands behind his head and looked at her. Haley James was a definite pain in the ass but she was a hot piece of ass too. He sometimes said crap just to get her startled up. "We can't all be perfect, princess."

Haley rolled her eyes as she stuffed the papers back into the folder and closed it. "What are you doing here?"

"You're my tutor."

"Yes but we usually meet after school."

"Yeah, can't do that." Nathan replied as he remained looking at her. He watched her nose flare and he smirked more.

"And why not, Nathan?" Haley was on her last nerve. She knew this was a bad idea from the start. He just had to be an asshole. "Well?"

Nathan removed his hands from behind his head and quickly sat up in his chair. "Basketball."

"It's August. Games don't even start until November."

Nathan rolled his eyes at her. Of course she would act like a know-it-all about the one thing he actually cared to do. "It's called practice."

Haley stared at him for a moment before shaking her head and standing up. She couldn't do this. She could tell Karen she tried but she really did but she couldn't.

Nathan watched as he started to pick up her book-bag and move away from the table. "Where are you going?"

Haley shrugged as she looked at him fully. "I'm not going to waste my time when I could be helping someone who actually wants help."

Nathan was now standing up too and surely returning the glare she was giving off. "Look, I really need your help." He sounded so weak. He hated it. He hated that he sounded like some wimp because he didn't ever want too. Especially to someone like Haley. He wasn't sure why that was.

Haley brought her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked at him. His tone had been serious and by the look on his face, she could tell he was being serious as well. She let out a small sigh. "I am usually here until four-thirty or so, can you make it before then or what?"

"Well-." He watched her eyes narrow. "I can be here by three-thirty."

Haley nodded her head as she lowered back down her book-bag. She sunk back into her chair and took a deep breath. "What are you still doing here?"

"What?"

"Go to class, Nathan." She practically yelled as she watched him nod before quickly walking out of the room. She let out a groan and dropped her head onto the table.

* * *

Julian didn't really care for any of his classes. Well, that was a lie. He loved AV. He loved filming things and he loved taking photographs of things. As he sat in his English class he looked over and saw Lindsey Strauss corned in the front row. He was surprised she was even in a senior class but at the same time he wasn't. Lindsey was a smart girl and last year she had helped him a lot on his British Literature paper about Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. She was pretty too. He shifted his gaze to listen to Mr. Jenkins ramble on about something he could care less about. The second day of school and he already had fifty calculus questions, four readings and three short essays to write. School sucked.

He was pretty happy the bell rang. Since he was a senior, he was done for the day. He couldn't tell you how excited about that he was. He just wanted to go back to sleep or go be somewhere that wasn't here. He thought back to the conversation he had with Haley this morning. He felt like an asshole. He didn't mean to call her out like that but he couldn't help himself. He had gotten so mad when she stood there accusing him like that. He didn't like disappointing her. In fact, that was the last thing he wanted. As he made his way toward his locker, he noticed that Lucas Scott was propped up next to his girlfriend who clearly didn't want anything to do with it. That made his blood start to boil and all previous thoughts in his head to vanish. He made he was to her and cleared his throat. "I think you should leave my girlfriend alone."

Brooke's head snapped back around as she saw Julian standing behind her. She couldn't have been more joyful that he was there. Lucas wouldn't leave her alone. It annoyed her and it made her uncomfortable. She turned her head around and reached for her purse and a few text books before closing her locker. "Let's just go, okay?"

"Yeah, just go." Lucas mocked as he pushed himself off of the locker so he was in front of Julian. "Maybe you should start paying more attention to your girlfriend," Lucas cleared his throat as he looked at Brooke for a moment and then turned his attention back onto Julian. "since women in your life seem to drop like flies."

"Lucas!" Brooke yelled as she glared at him. She turned toward Julian but it was too late to do anything.

Julian had dropped his messenger bag and within moments he had shoved Lucas onto the ground before he started to bring his fist toward his face. He felt so much rage in that moment. He saw red and he felt red. No one, especially Lucas Scott was going to mock his mother like that. He couldn't stop punching him but quickly as it started, someone was pulling him off. Whitey was gripping him by the shoulders and Julian was pissed he had ripped him off of Lucas. As he shook the pain in his hand, he watched as Nathan came over to help his brother off of the floor. He turned his head.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Whitey shouted as he let go of Julian's shirt. Neither boy spoke. Lucas was spitting up blood from his bloody lip and Julian was shaking his hand still. "Detention for you two." He pointed at Lucas before he shifted to point at Julian. He muttered a few obscenities before walking away.

Julian glared at Lucas once more before he reached down for his messenger bag on the ground. As he stood up his eyes connected down the hallway to Haley's. She looked at him. Not with anger but with something else. She looked sad and he merely shook his head at it before turning around. He needed to get out of there. Once he reached the doors he noticed that Brooke was beside him. He didn't know why she even bothered. He shook his head and made his way outside before heading to his blue Ford pick-up truck. Once he got into the drivers side, he slammed his hands against the wheel.

Brooke sat next to him with her bottom lip between her teeth. "Julian.."

"What?" Julian said quietly as he hit the steering wheel once more before he sat back in his seat. He felt like crying but he wouldn't. "I'm sorry."

"No it's okay." Brooke replied as she hesitated before reaching her hand over and placing it onto his thigh. She felt so nervous around him lately and she didn't understand why. She was confident around boys, she had been all last year until Julian had came around and swept her off her feet.

Julian shook his head at her as he turned his attention outside of the car. He imagined what message Principal Turner would leave on their answering machine for what had happened minutes ago. If his mother were here, she would have grounded him for two months and made him do an excessive amount of chores. He knew his father wouldn't do much. He would lecture him about how it was a stupid thing to do but that would be it. "It's not okay." He turned his head to look at her. "I'm not okay."

Brooke moved her hand from his thigh and brought it slowly toward his face. She was grateful when he didn't pull away. She let out a breath as she scooted over in her seat before sitting right next to him. She traced her hand against his face before she leaned her head into his neck. Her hands remained on his face as she clung to him. She just wanted to help him. She wanted him to let her in. "I'm here."

Julian remained still for a moment. She was there, he knew that. He didn't want her to think he took that for granted or anything because he didn't. At his mom's funereal, if she hadn't been there he didn't think he would actually get through the service. Especially when Haley went to the front of the church and played Blackbird on her guitar. The moment his sister's voice filled up the church was the moment it all became real to him. As if Brooke knew in that moment that he was about to breakdown, she reached over and grasped his hand in hers. She was Brooke Davis but she was more than that. He loved her. He knew he did the moment he saw her in the fifth grade. She was the new girl and her dimpled grin had made his heart race since. She was the girl for him and he knew that but at the same time, he didn't feel worthy. Like Lucas said, the women in his life didn't stay for long.

Julian turned his head as he looked at her. Since he had moved, she pulled her head away from his neck but remained close to him with her hands falling from his face and onto his shoulders. She was something that didn't even seem real. He brought his hand to her hand and curled a piece between his fingers before he looked at her face. She barely wore make-up today and that's when he thought she looked the most beautiful. This was the real and raw Brooke Davis. The one he fell in love with last year. She was wearing a maroon shirt and a gray skirt. He didn't know how someone could throw two things so plain together and make them look so good. He turned his attention back toward her face. After a moment, he brought his forehead against hers. He just wanted to be close to her. "I'm so sorry."

Brooke breathed him in. She didn't want to say the wrong thing. This was the closest they had been in awhile. Excluding the small make-out session they had yesterday which he ended abruptly. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Julian closed his head but kept his forehead against hers. "I couldn't tell you."

Brooke kept quiet for a few seconds before she closed the gap between them and connected her lips to his. He remained unmoving beneath her lips for a moment before he responded back to her. The kiss was soft and tender. She pulled away a few minutes later and brought her hand to his cheek as she looked at him. "I love you."

Julian didn't feel worthy of that. She shouldn't love him and she deserved someone better than him to love her. That's just how he felt. He couldn't mutter it back to her even though he wanted too. He just nodded his head and after a few minutes, he felt her pull away before returning to her spot. He started up the truck and made his way out of the parking lot.

They didn't say anything on the drive to Brooke's house. She lived on the upper side of Tree Hill. The Scott's and a few other's lived on this side of town as well. His family wasn't poor or anything close to the sort but they surely weren't wealthy enough to live over here. These houses were practically small mansions. As he pulled up to Brooke's house he stared at it. It was a big white mansion that was covered in small bits of ivy. The thing he liked most was the bright red door. He had often called her the girl behind the red door before they started dating last year. She had loved the nickname. He put the car in park and turned his attention back to her, only to find her staring at him.

Brooke let out a shaky breath as she tried to build up the courage to speak. "Do you wanna come in?"

Julian looked past her and toward the house before shaking his head and turning his attention toward the steering wheel. "I should probably just go home."

"Okay." Brooke tried to mask the fact that she was hurt but she knew it didn't work because Julian had turned to her. His face was emotionless but his eyes looked so sad. She tried to muster up a smile but she couldn't feel it against her face. She reached over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Julian watched as she quickly got out of the car and shut the door behind her. It didn't take her long to disappear into the house but he hadn't expected it too. She used to stand on the front step of her house and turn to him with a grin before screaming that she loved him. However, she merely made her way inside and made her way away from him. She was the girl behind the red door and he was the boy losing her more and more everyday.

* * *

Haley kept her eyes on the clock as she watched the hands tick by. It was almost four and there was no sign of Nathan. Figures. She turned her attention back toward her own homework and realized she had gotten most of it done. She would give him another minute before she would leave. Sure she told him she stayed until four-thirty but she wasn't going to waste her time. However, as she stood up, he quickly made his way into the room. She glanced at the clock and cursed toward herself. If only he had walked in twenty seconds later. She sunk back down into her chair and watched as he took the seat across from her. His hair was wet and by the water stain against the neck of his polo she realized he had probably just gotten out of the shower. She shook her head as she imagined him standing there under the warm water. She hated him. "You're late."

Nathan blew out a breath as he continued reaching into his book-bag. He pulled out his World History, English and French textbooks before turning his attention back onto her. "Practice ran a little late."

"You said you would be here at three-thirty, Nathan. We barely have enough time to-."

"Why would we barely have enough time?"

"It's almost four and we have nothing started." Haley spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Nathan closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them to look at her. Her hair had been down earlier but now it was up in a bun away from her face. She dressed so much simpler than some of the girls at school but it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, he felt like he liked it the best. "I'll try to get out earlier. I just lost track of time." He didn't know why he was explaining himself to her. This was Haley James. He knew her since practically birth. Up until fifth grade they had been friends somewhat but once he started basketball, that small friendship was forgotten. He wasn't sure why he was so mean to her before. She was a nice girl but something about her ticked him off. He wasn't sure what that was either. Well, maybe it didn't tick him off but he didn't want to settle from another alternative.

"Alright." Haley finally spoke as she pulled out her own English book. They were in the same class but Haley doubted that he actually paid attention to that fact. She pulled out the homework assignment they were given as she flipped the book through the first chapter. She glanced up to see him staring at her. It made her uneasy. "Do you have the assignment?"

"Yeah but why do you have it too?"

She stood corrected. She cleared her throat as if she was embarrassed. "We're in the same class."

That couldn't be true, could it? He would have noticed if she was in his class. Well, maybe that was a lie. If he was sleeping in class he was goofing off with his best friend, Tim Smith. That's just how it worked. "Oh." Was all he could muster as he pulled out his own assignment.

Haley rolled her eyes as she watched him start flipping through his own book. She had already completed the assignment. She watched as his face took in the words on the page in confusion. "What is it?"

Nathan read over the page again before he turned toward her. "I don't understand it."

"Okay, well let's tear it apart piece by piece." Haley mumbled as she glanced down at her own textbook. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both. And be one traveler, long I stood, and looked down one as far as I could. to where it bent in the undergrowth." She stopped as she looked at him. "Pretty simple, right? He's come along this path and suddenly, it breaks up into two. So, since it's broken into two, he can only take one."

"Yeah." Nathan turned his attention way from her and toward his textbook. He scanned over the rest of the poem before he spoke. "I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in the wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by and that had made all the difference." He cleared his throat as he looked at her. "So he didn't take the simple way out? Like, he took the way that felt right to him even though everyone else would take the one that was easiest but since he didn't, it made life worth while?"

Haley smiled at that. She could see the lightbulb in his head going off. She loved when that happened. She didn't even care that it was Nathan Scott who had gotten it right. "Exactly. See, you're not so bad at Robert Frost." She smiled at him but it quickly faded when she did in fact realize who it was. She turned her head down toward the piece of paper. "Basically just put what you said down and explain why you think so."

Nathan nodded as he fished out a pencil from his book-bag before he jotted down his thoughts onto paper. After that, they had gone over French. He hated to admit it but Haley sounded almost angelic as she spoke to him in the language. It seemed like a second nature to her. After they had gone over some words, she helped him on a worksheet. For World History all he had to do was read. By the time they finished, it was almost five.

Haley stood up and stretched as she grabbed her book-bag. She looked to see Nathan packing up his book-bag as well. She took a deep breath. "Good job today, Nathan."

He hated that what she said made him feel better. Well, not hated that she said it but that her simply saying it made his chest feel something he never felt before. He merely nodded as he thanked her and walked out of the room.

Haley took a deep breath as she made her way out of the tutoring center. After locking it, she made her way down the hallway toward her locker. She quickly popped her textbooks back into it. As she made her way outside, she grabbed for her cellphone and dialed Julian. No answer. Lindsey was at tennis practice still and Haley didn't feel like waiting around for that. Obviously, she walking today. She let out a breath as she prepared herself for the half-hour walk home. As she made her way through the parking lot, she watched as Nathan's SUV slowly made it's way toward her. He rolled down the window and looked at her. "Do you need a ride?"

Haley was a bit surprised. She looked at him for a moment before she shook her head. "No, that's alright."

"Just get in, Haley."

Haley looked at him for a moment and let out a sigh before she climbed into the passenger side of the SUV. A soft hum from some sort of rap music was vibrating against her seat. Nathan didn't speak a word to her but drove her to her house. She was surprised he even remembered where it was. She bit her tongue as she unbuckled her seat belt. "Thanks."

"Yeah, whatever."

Haley rolled her eyes. Typical Nathan Scott fashion to act like an asshole. She didn't bother saying anything else to him as she jumped out of the car and made her way inside. She kicked off her shoes and headed toward the kitchen. She didn't work today and she was grateful for it. She was exhausted. She decided to make pasta for dinner. She started to boil the water and warm up the sauce Karen had given them a few weeks ago. She let out a breath as she heard Julian's music echo throughout the house. As everything started to warm up, she made her way upstairs. She walked past her own room and knocked on Julian's door. The music stopped and after a few minutes she heard the door unlock but he didn't open it. She pushed her way through and looked around the room. He was actually doing homework. She didn't know why she was so surprised. Julian was a smart guy. She let out a breath. "Hey."

Julian looked at her and nodded. "Hey."

Haley crossed her arms over her chest as she watched him continue to write in his notebook. "I think we should talk about what happened in the hallway earlier." She watched as the pen in his hand stilled and he looked up at her. "JJ, you can't get in fights like that."

Julian listened to her as she rambled on about his future and how he couldn't lose it because of someone like Lucas Scott. He didn't want to tell her what Lucas said but the more she talked, the angrier he felt. He quickly stood up from his computer chair and looked at her. "Can you please stop."

Haley stopped mid sentence as she looked up at him. "Julian, I'm only trying to help you-."

"Yeah, well, you're not." Julian blurted out as he narrowed his eyes at her. "Stop trying to be like mom." He whispered the last part and flashed back to what he said to her in the hallway.

Haley felt tears make their way down her face. What he said to her in the hallway had hurt her but this hurt her worse. She felt her own anger rise. She was sick of babying him. She was sick of walking on eggshells. She was sick of him acting like she was some sort of parasite. "Do you think I like acting like this?" She yelled as she watched his face move in surprise at her tone. "I'm the younger one." She pointed at herself as she glared at him through her tears. "I'm not supposed to be taking care of dad or making sure you're okay!" She was almost screaming now. "I shouldn't have to worry about you this much, Julian. I shouldn't have to worry that you will disappear in the middle of the night and not come home. I shouldn't worry that you get in fights at school. I shouldn't worry about you more than what a sister should worry about her brother but I have too." She sniffed as she brought a hand to wipe under her eyes. "Just- whatever." She looked at him hard for a moment before she turned around and walked away.


	4. Chapter Four

_Four_

Nathan let out a tired sigh as he pulled the key out of his ignition and headed toward the house. He was exhausted. He was grateful and annoyed that Haley had helped him with his homework. He was surprised when he got the blue slip of paper that morning telling him that his new tutor was in fact Haley James. He wasn't exactly sure why and he wasn't exactly sure that he grew to dislike her. Maybe it was because she was this perfect being or maybe it was because his friends had told him too. He wasn't exactly sure. Once he pulled open the door his nose was welcomed with the scent of prime rib: his favorite. He shrugged off his book-bag and dropped it at the door as he made his way toward the kitchen.

He never really showed his emotions because his father said they were weak to have. Over time, he just shut them off. However, watching his mother dance around the kitchen humming old show tunes made his heart grow in his chest. He couldn't imagine his life if he didn't have his mother. She was always there for him. Whenever his dad walked away from a basketball game after telling him he played poorly, his mother hugged him and continued to hold the homemade sign that said "I love #3 & #23!" She made everything better. "Hey mom."

Karen turned from her spot at the stove as she smiled warmly at her youngest son. "Hi baby." She watched him walk toward her and she stepped aside so he could look at the stove.

"What's all this?" Nathan looked at the mashed potatoes, green beans and corn with hungry eyes.

Karen smiled at him as she continued to mash the potatoes. "Some college letters came for your brother today."

Nathan bit the inside of his cheek but didn't offer to add a comment. His brother might have been an asshole but he was intelligent. He was everything Nathan wasn't. He got good grades in school, he could play basketball just a bit faster and he could get out of almost anything. Sure, Nathan had the same talent of getting out of things but he had to learn it somewhere. He let out a breath as he leaned against the counter by the stove. "Haley James is tutoring me."

Karen continued to mash the potatoes so her face wouldn't give her away. She already knew this. She had asked the girl too and she was happy she actually was. "Is that so?"

"Yeah." Nathan mumbled as he looked down at the ground. "As much as I hate to admit it, she already made things easier for me."

"Why would you hate to admit that?" Karen finally looked up at her son and watched as her question washed over his face. Before she could answer, she heard the front door open again and soon, she was welcomed by her other son. She narrowed her eyes as she took in his bloody lip. She had gotten a call from the school earlier. "Why are you just getting home?"

Lucas didn't bother to come up with an excuse for his mother. He merely shrugged as he walked toward the fridge and pulled out a Coke. When he stood up he saw he was being watched by his brother and his mother. "I take it you told her."

Karen shook her head and stepped in front of Nathan before anything could happen. She folded her arms over her chest as she looked at her son hard. Lucas was her first born and she loved him with every fiber of her being. She felt this way about both her sons but with Lucas she always had to keep him on a tighter rope. Sure, they both didn't have the best track record but Lucas was the one who needed to be kept on a leash it seemed. "No, but what were you thinking Lucas?"

Lucas shook his head. "Does it really matter?" He muttered as he opened the can of soda and took a drink. He didn't really know what he was thinking when he said the things he did but part of him regretted saying anything at all. He tried to push that part of him out of his brain.

Karen narrowed her eyes and folded her arms over each other. "Yes it does matter. That family has been through enough."

"Whatever." Lucas mumbled as he narrowed his own eyes as well but he wasn't looking at his mother. He was looking at his brother behind her. Their mother was so short, it seemed almost comical that she tried to place herself between them. "You need to learn to keep your mouth shut."

"I didn't say anything!" Nathan interjected as he tried to move closer toward his brother. He was halted by the small body of his mother. He took a sigh and rolled his eyes. "They have been through enough, Luke. Leave them alone."

Lucas continued to glare at his brother. "Really? You're going to act like some martyr now?" Lucas formed a smile on his face as if he was going to laugh but that sound didn't escape from his mouth. "Not even a few months you were laughing about Haley at some party with your friends."

Nathan looked down. He did do that but that was before everything. That was before the girl lost his mom. Now, he didn't crack a joke about her. No one did. "It's different."

"Whatever." Lucas glared at him once more before he turned and stomped out of the kitchen.

Nathan let out a breath as he looked down to see his mother staring absently at the doorway his brother had just left. He always felt like he had to make up for Lucas's faults. He shouldn't have to do that. He was the younger one. "Mom.."

Karen took a deep breath as she closed her eyes for a moment before opening them. She turned toward Nathan and tried to smile but she knew she failed. "Can you finish mashing those for me?" She gestured toward the pot filled with potato clumps. She grateful when he didn't say anything but merely attempted the task she had asked him to do.

Nathan was grateful when his mother started humming again. Once he finished mashing the potatoes he watched as she gracefully put everything into serving dishes and headed toward the dining room. He followed her and wasn't surprised that the rest of the table was already set. He let out a breath as he heard the front door open. This was about to be interesting. He took his seat and watched as his mother took her's at the head of the table. After a few minutes his father and his brother came into the dining room as well.

"Look at this." Dan Scott marveled as he shrugged lose his tie and took the opposing seat at the head of the table. He smiled at his wife. "Looks great."

Karen thanked him as she watched Lucas pull out the seat to her right. He didn't bother saying anything. He didn't even look in her direction. She turned her attention back toward her husband. "How was work?"

Dan reached for the green beans to place onto his plate. "It was good." He reached for the corn, and then the prime rib before he spoke again. "I got a call from the school."

Lucas rolled his eyes as he continued to place his food on his plate. "Look I'm sorry about the fight-."

"What fight?" Dan asked as he glanced at his oldest son.

Lucas looked across the table but Nathan didn't bother meeting his gaze. "It was nothing." He let out a small sigh about the fact that his brother and mother didn't add commentary toward his statement. "What was the call?"

Dan smiled brightly at his son and the mere mention of the fight seemed to fleet his mind. "How about we open that letter from Duke?"

Karen looked across the table and let out a small sigh. "I was thinking we could open all of them after dinner."

Dan ignored his wife's comment as he looked at his son excitedly. "Go get them, son."

Lucas waited a moment before he nodded and got up from the table. He headed toward the kitchen and saw the three letters on the desk in the corner of the kitchen. He quickly gathered them up and let out a breath before he walked back into the room. He took his seat and bit his lip as he pulled open the first one. It was for the community college in Tree Hill. He let out a small sigh as he read the word accepted across the page. He handed the letter over to Dan who nodded approvingly. He held his breath as he opened the letter from the University of North Carolina. Again, he sighed when the word accepted came into his eyes. They even asked him to play basketball. He handed that one over as well. The last one was from Duke. He felt his hands shake as he held it between them. His father went to Duke and so did his grandfather, and so worth and so on. He had worked so hard on his admission essay. He then turned toward his mother was who looking at him with an emotion he couldn't read. He let out a breath as he slowly tore open the letter and pulled it out.

Dan looked over at his son excitedly. "Well?"

Lucas looked at his father and brought his lip between his teeth. He couldn't find the words to speak.

Dan's smile dropped as he looked from his wife back toward his oldest son. "Well, Lucas?"

Lucas swallowed as he handed the letter over toward his father. He watched as his eyes danced over the page. His smile was gone entirely.

"You didn't get in."

Nathan looked between his father and his brother. He felt his own nerves bounce across his skin. He watched as Lucas stared at the table. He knew how hard Lucas had worked on his application and he worked so hard last year at basketball but a team that doesn't get to the State Playoff's doesn't really get looked at. Still, he knew his brother was expecting to get in. Everyone was.

Karen bit her lip as she reached over to touch Lucas's shoulder but he pulled away. "Lucas.."

"Well, that's what you get for having a crappy season." Dan replied with a shake of the head as he threw the piece of paper in front of him.

Karen turned her attention onto Dan. "Dan, not now."

"Not now? His future is ruined, Karen."

Karen turned her attention toward her son. She would deal with her husband later. She bit the inside of her mouth as she watched Lucas's bottom lip begin to tremble, something that since a young boy, showed that he was about to cry. Instead of crying at the table, she watched him throw his napkin onto the table and get up from it. "Lucas!" He didn't turn back around as he walked out of the dining room. She turned her attention toward her husband. "You should be ashamed of yourself." She glared at him as she threw her own napkin on the table and followed the steps of her son.

Nathan sat there stunned as he looked at the almost vacant table. He wasn't sure why he was surprised. He dad was also an ass. He was about to get up himself but his father shook his head. Without another word mentioned, Nathan picked up his fork and continued eating.

* * *

Haley rolled over to turn off her alarm clock and sighed. She was completely exhausted. She wasn't sure she actually slept last night from the ache in her bones. She yawned and sat up in her bed as she stretched. This week was going by ridiculously slow. It was only Wednesday. She yawned again and got out of bed. She didn't bother showering since she did last night after she had dinner. Plus, Julian usually showered in the morning. She quickly changed from her floral pajamas into a pair of dark wash jeans and a green blouse. She put on some make-up but not too much. She decided to leave her curly hair down but braided her bangs and tucked back. She let out a small dissatisfied sighed as she grabbed her book-bag off her desk chair and headed downstairs. She smiled as she heard her father singing off key as he moved around the kitchen. "He-hey." She was surprised when she saw the pancakes sitting at her normal spot at the kitchen island. "When did you do this?"

"Just now." Jimmy said softly as he gave her a weary smile. "I hope they're okay."

Haley smiled as she dropped her book-bag down before she took her spot and started to dig into the pancakes. They were good. She couldn't say she wasn't surprised because she was. Her father rarely cooked anything that couldn't be solved with a microwave. "These are good."

Jimmy let out a sigh of relief as he did a small air pump. "Thank God."

Haley chuckled as she continued to eat her breakfast. She reached toward the middle of the island to look at the mail from the previous day. Her eyes widened as she came across three envelopes addressed toward her brother. She looked up at her father. "Did you see these?" She held up the envelopes and watched as his own eyes opened.

Jimmy reached forward and grabbed the three envelopes. As he cleared his throat, he watched his son walk into the kitchen. "JJ."

Julian looked up at his father from his cellphone. "What?"

Jimmy looked at the envelopes in his hand and then back toward his son who was staring at him blankly. He cleared his throat again and he handed the envelopes into his son's direction.

Julian looked down and swallowed. Three envelopes all addressed to him. Duke, Dartmouth and NYU all flashed against his eyes. He didn't expect to hear back so soon but he had applied almost two months ago. His mother had helped him. He looked up to see his father and sister staring at him. "Should I-." He froze and swallowed as he felt his hands shake. "Should I open them?"

"Yes!" Haley answered quickly as she sat up straighter on the stool. She noticed the look from her father and bit her lip. "Only if you want too."

Julian nodded as he shakily opened the first envelope for Duke. He didn't really want to go their but his mother made him apply anyway. He tore open the seal and read over the letter. Without saying anything, he went and opened the next two. After he was finished he gave out a sigh and walked toward the trash to throw them away before muttering a goodbye and leaving the house.

Haley's eyes had been wide the entire time and once she heard the door close, she quickly made her way toward the garbage can. She pulled out the three letters and turned toward her father. "He got in."

"What?" Jimmy asked softly as he made his way toward her.

Haley quickly flipped through all the piece of paper. "He got into all of them." She looked up at her father and watched as a prided smile made it's way across his face. She handed the letters over and distraughtly walked to get her book-bag as she mumbled that she would walk to school. Why did Julian just throw them away? NYU was his dream school. She couldn't remember a time where he hadn't wanted to go. Their mother took them to the NYC two years ago and Julian fell more in love with the school. She wasn't going to let him just throw that dream away but she couldn't make him go their if he didn't want too. He also got into Dartmouth and Duke. Two extremely big schools that were hard to get into. He had done it and he just threw it away. She didn't understand it but recently she had no idea who her brother was. She was brought out of her thoughts as a car slowed by alongside her. Peyton Sawyer. Haley knew her from being Brooke's best friend but that's all she really knew. She rolled her eyes and continued walking.

Peyton bit back a smirk as she looked at the scowl on the girls face. "Want a ride?"

Haley froze as she turned to looked at the black Comet next to her. She let out a breath. "Why?"

Peyton stopped the car and looked at the girl with confusion. "So you don't have to walk.."

"No, why are you being nice to me?" Well, Peyton was never really mean to her. Brooke had been but Peyton was always standing alongside the pestering brunette. "You don't need to be nice to me because my mom died."

"That's exactly why I'm being nice to you." Peyton admitted honestly as she watched the girl's drop slightly at the statement. "My mom died when I was nine. Cancer."

Haley closed her mouth tightly as she looked over at Peyton. She didn't know that. She bit her lip and after a small argument with herself, she decided to get into the car. It was awkward and silent but soon the sound of Gavin DeGraw came into her ears. "You like Gavin DeGraw?"

"He's playing isn't he?" Peyton teased as she pulled the car into drive. "I'm trying to get him to come play at Tric."

Haley nodded her head as she nodded her head to the music. So they had two things in common. Music and dead mothers. It was kind of eerie to think about so Haley tried not to. She was grateful when the high school came into view and once Peyton parked, she quickly jumped out with a thank-you.

"Hey Haley!" Peyton called out as she slowly got out of her car as well. She watched the blonde girl turn around slowly. "We should do this again sometime."

Haley counted to ten to wait to see if Peyton would laugh but instead there was a serious expression on her face. She merely nodded as she turned back around and headed into the school. She wondered why Peyton would even suggest it. Even though she hated what her life was like a year ago, she wished more than anything it was exactly like that. She didn't care that she was at the bottom of the social food chain but everyone being so nice to her was getting irritating. She just wanted to be treated like a person. Not some girl who lost her mother.

"Do my eyes deceive me or did I just see you get out of the car with Peyton Sawyer?"

Haley turned her head and was surprised that Clay was standing there. She hadn't spoken to him since their walk home from the café. He looked so, Clay like. She wasn't even sure if that made sense but that's how he appeared. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a gray t-shirt. It was so simple but so him. She recalled the t-shirt being one she had bought him for Christmas last year. "Uh, yeah." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she watched him nod his head slowly.

"Weird." Clay said honestly as he swallowed at looked at her. His heart was beating so hard against his chest but it always did when she was around. "How are you?"

"I'm alright." Haley said softly as she watched him. She missed being around him. Not in a romantic sense but in a best friend kind of sense. "You?"

"Been better." Clay answered with a small smile as he held onto the straps of his book-bag.

"Yeah." Haley mumbled as she looked down at the ground. She was a lose for words. She had so much to say but she had no idea how to say it and surely no idea how to say it to him. She wished everything wasn't so awkward or weird.

Clay kicked at the ground as he nodded toward a picnic table in the distance. "Well, I'll see you later." He smiled softly once more before turning around.

"Wait!" Haley mumbled as she watched him turn around. She shook her head at herself. She had no idea why she called out to him. "Nevermind." She offered him a small smile before she turned her heel and headed toward the school. She walked toward her locker and was more than grateful to see Lindsey pressed up against the locker next to hers. She let out a breath and made her way closer to the girl. "There you are."

Lindsey smiled sheepishly as she nodded. She took in Haley's appearance. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Haley mumbled as she worked on her locker combination. "Weird day."

"It's not even eight."

Haley chuckled at that as she opened her locker and grabbed her books. "Weird morning then."

Lindsey smiled as she let out a yawn. She wasn't a morning person and she knew she never would be. "I wish school didn't start until like, noon."

Haley nodded her head in agreement as she closed her locker and walked next to Lindsey in the hallway. She wanted nothing more than to sleep herself. She wanted to wake-up from this nightmare she was having. She wanted to wake up and be with her mother not this dark and twisted dream. She let out a breath as she tried to listen as Lindsey spoke about the school newspaper. She really tried to listen but her thoughts were so jumbled that she couldn't even focus on one of those. Once they departed, the rest of the day was a bit of a blur. She didn't talk to anyone and no one really made an effort to talk to her. Once school was over, she absentmindedly made her way toward the tutoring center. She didn't really understand why she was getting to be in such a funk. She just wanted to sleep or well, she wasn't entirely sure. She sighed in content when she walked in to see the tutoring center empty. She just wanted a break from it all. It didn't last long.

"I didn't even know this place existed until you started working here."

She turned surprised as she came face to face with Clay again that day. He had avoided her in class as usual. "Do you need something?"

Clay wanted to scream that he needed her but he resisted the urge and shrugged. He hated feeling like this. So, hopeless. So alone. He missed being close to her and he surely missed being close to her. "I just saw you walking and you seemed not really..there." He pointed to her forehead to indicate her thoughts were taking over.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Haley muttered as she looked at him.

"Haley." Clay said her name so pleadingly that he almost shook his head at himself for sounding so pathetic. He walked closer toward her and was so grateful that she didn't take a step backward. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Haley's voice was a soft whisper as she watched him step closer.

Clay brought his hands toward her arms and sighed at the feeling of her. "I can't do anything. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I cant.." He didn't bother finishing as he gripped onto her arms tighter.

Haley looked down at his hands and tried not to feel the pain running up and down her arms. She felt her breath in her throat as she looked at him. His face was so much closer now. She wasn't comfortable though. She didn't like this. "Clay.. let go." He didn't seem to hear her as he kept muttering how much he loved her. She tried to wiggle out of his grip but he was too strong. "Clay..please let go." She knew she was crying but not because of the pain in her arms but because she knew how much he was hurting and she hated it.

"I think she told you to let go."

Haley watched as Clay turned around and she saw Nathan standing in the doorway. How much time had passed? She felt Clay's hands remain around her arms but it wasn't as tight. She let out a small sigh as he turned back toward her with a sad expression. He didn't say anything to her as he dropped his hands and quickly walked out of the room. Haley swallowed as she brought her hands around herself.

"Are you okay?"

Haley glanced up to see Nathan looking at her with something she never saw in him before: concern. Why was everything so different? Why was everything so out of place? Nathan Scott hated her and she hated him. That's how life was supposed to be like, wasn't it? "I need to go." She quickly gathered up her book-bag and tried to leave the room but the basketball player was blocking her exit.

Nathan wasn't sure why his blood was boiling but once he heard someone shouting from the tutoring center, he went. The sight of seeing Haley crying out caused his anger to rise. He wasn't sure why. She had cried a few times before him and it never caused him to feel this way. Maybe his brother was right. Maybe he was a martyr. "Talk to me." What was he doing?

Haley stilled for a moment as she looked at him like he was from a foreign country. She didn't really know him and he didn't know her. All he knew was that she was a girl with a dead mom. Everyone knew her as that. She shook her head at him and pushed him out of the way as she ran away from it all.

* * *

Brooke happily finished painting her toe-nails on her white cotton bed as she listened vaguely toward the TV which was playing Breakfast at Tiffany's. She let out a satisfied sigh as she pushed her feet before her in order to let them dry. As she stared to relax into the massive pillows on her bed, there was a knock at her door. Without waiting to be allowed entrance, the door opened and there stood her boyfriend. She couldn't' say that she wasn't surprised because she was. She wasn't even sure when the last time Julian was in her room since it had been such a long time ago. She reached beside her and turned the TV off. "Hi."

Julian nodded as he looked around the room. The walls were painted an off white and pictures hung around the room. He could spot the ones with him without even really looking. He swallowed as he looked at her. "Hi."

"Is everything okay?" Brooke asked this almost hesitantly as she watched him turn to looking around her bedroom. She sat up on her bed. "Julian?"

Julian turned his attention back onto her as he let out a small sigh. "I think we should talk."

Brooke nodded as a nervous feeling entered her stomach. She looked at him hard. "Okay."

Julian stayed quiet and he couldn't tell you how long he looked around the room as if he was memorizing it. He brought his hands into his pockets as he finally turned toward her. She was now sitting indian style on her bed with a weird look on her face. He hated what he was about to do but he knew he had too. "I can't do this."

"Well, just tell me what's on your mind and I'll try to help." Brooke offered softly.

"No." Julian said strongly as he pushed his hands into his pockets harder. He felt a strange feeling take over his insides and he wanted it to go away. He didn't deserve Brooke. He didn't deserve to be loved by someone so much when he was so broken. She deserved the best. "I can't do this right now." He watched as the realization hit her. She brought her lip between her teeth and he watched a few tears brim her eyes. He looked away. "I just need to some time for myself."

Brooke didn't know how she could even fight him on that. She didn't want to upset him but she didn't want him to go. She merely nodded her head.

Julian let out a breath and nodded at her. "I..I."

"I know." Brooke finished softly as she finally let the sob in her throat escape. She couldn't look at him either. "I think you should leave."

Julian finally looked at her. He was doing this for her. He was doing this so she would be safe. He was doing this because he loved her and she deserved better. He quietly left her room but once he reached the hallway and took of running. He ran past her maid and ran as quick as he could out the door. His legs carried him toward his house and he was surprised he hadn't ran out of breath. Once he opened his own front door, did he finally feel like he was breathing. He let out a shaky breath as he heard the TV in the living room suddenly come on. He made his way toward the room and watched as his mother's face came onto the screen. His father was sitting in the middle of the couch and by his hunched posture, Julian knew he was crying. He turned his attention back toward the screen and saw himself holding up a basketball trophy in his mother's direction. He couldn't have been older than ten. "Dad."

Jimmy quickly turned his head and watched as his son staggered into the room. He quickly stood up and looked at him. "JJ.." He felt like he needed to apologize for what he was watching. He watched as Julian took a breath before he started crying before him. "Julian."

Julian let out a breath as he felt tears stream down his face. "I need you."

Jimmy quickly made his way toward his son and after a moment of hesitation, he brought his arms around his son. "I'm here."

Julian gripped tightly on his father as he tried to control his breathing. He glanced at the television before him and watched his mother laugh before the screen went black.

* * *

Haley fought with herself on the sidewalk as she glanced up at the small mansion. Well, it wasn't anything close to small. After running out of the tutoring center, she walked the back streets of Tree Hill to clear her mind. She instantly felt childish at her behavior. She fought with herself a moment longer before she walked up the sidewalk and brought her hand toward the large door-knocker. It took a few moments but then the door opened. "Hi Mrs. Scott."

Karen smiled happily at the sight. "Haley! I wasn't planning to see you until tomorrow."

"I know." Haley said softly as she looked down at the ground nervously before looking back up toward the woman. "I'm actually here to see Nathan. Is he here?"

Karen nodded her head with a smile as she stepped aside and let the girl into the foyer. She watched as the girl looked around the downstairs. She cleared her throat and nodded toward the stairs. "First door on the left." She smiled at Haley once more before walking back toward the kitchen.

Haley took a deep breath as she glanced at the elegant staircase. Her entire house could probably fit in the living room. She slowly made her way up the stairs as she glanced at the photos on the walls. She watched as Nathan's face grew younger and younger. However, what made her come toward a halt was when her mother's picture popped up on the wall. She hesitantly brought her hand toward the photograph as she looked at her mother's light brown hair. It had to of been taken years ago but the smile her mother wore was the one she always wore. She missed it. She dropped her hand as she continued to make her way up the stairs. She brought her hand toward the door and knocked.

"It's open, mom."

He already sounded irritated. She brought her lip between her teeth as she slowly pushed open the door and was welcomed with the room of Nathan Scott. His walls were painted a light brown and the furniture in his room was a darker brown. His bed was covered in a few pillows and a gray comforter. She also noticed all the rap and basketball posters framed and hung around his room. She was surprised at how organized it was. His back was to her as he sat at his desk but once she cleared her throat, he spun around.

Nathan's eyes widened as he took in the sight of Haley James in the middle of his room. He definitely wasn't expecting that. "Uh, hey."

"Hi." Haley mumbled nervously as she kept her lip between her teeth. She closed her eyes and sighed softly. She felt extremely out of place. Especially in his perfect looking room. "I wanted to apologize about earlier. I- I wasn't very professional and I'm sorry."

Nathan remained still as he tried to come to terms that she was actually in his room. He always was trying to understand why he actually like the fact. "It's alright."

Haley looked around the room more until her eyes wandered onto him. "Do you.. do you still need some help today?"

Nathan took a moment before he answered. "I'm just about finished."

"Right." Haley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she nodded toward the door. "I just wanted to apologize. So, I'm sorry. Again." She watched him nod as she bit her bottom lip even harder. "Alright well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait." Nathan mumbled as he slowly stood up. "Let me give you a ride home"

Haley didn't bother protesting. She merely nodded her head and watched he as started to put on a pair of sneakers before he stood tall before her. She gripped onto her book-bag as he motioned for her to walk out first. She made her way back down the way she came. Once she hit the bottom step she watched Karen come back into view.

"Leaving already?"

"Uh, yeah." Haley mumbled as she kept her eyes on Karen. "I have to start dinner for my dad and JJ..so." She watched the older woman nod with a sad smile. She looked away.

"I'm gonna give Haley a ride but I'll be back soon." Nathan smiled at his mother as he headed toward the door with Haley behind him.

Karen looked at the two and smiled at their backs. "Love you."

Haley watched as Nathan turned with a smile and muttered the same toward his mother. She felt her heart ache but she continued to follow him out of the house and into his SUV. She was a bit surprised when she watched him walk toward the passenger side of the car so he could open the door for her. She muttered a thank-you and quickly jumped up into her seat. She brought her book-bag into her lap and watched as he took his spot on the drivers side. They didn't speak as he drove toward her house and she found herself oddly comforted with the silence. As he pulled in front of her house, she turned to him and smiled briefly. "I'm really sorry about earlier."

"You don't have to keep apologizing." Nathan whispered as he looked at her. He found himself wanting to mutter that he was sorry about everything he had caused her over the past few years but he remained silent about it. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Haley nodded her head as she quickly got out of the car and walked inside. As she leaned against the back of her closed front door, she realized that the weird sensation in her stomach wasn't hatred or loathing for Nathan Scott. It wasn't anything like that at all.


	5. Chapter Five

The poem used in this chapter is called, Having a Coke with You by Frank O'Hara. Happy reading.

* * *

_Five_

Haley let her eyes roam over the familiar beach house. It was Friday night and after her shift at the café, Lindsey had picked her up and decided to take her to a party. She wasn't too thrilled about the fact mostly because she was exhausted and all she really wanted to do was sleep. She glanced to her left and saw a gleam in Lindsey's eyes as she looked at the house as well. She tried not to yawn but there was no use. She felt the ripple escape her throat.

"No, no, no! None of that!" Lindsey exclaimed as she reached a finger out to point at her best friend. It had taken almost and arm and a leg to have the girl even agree to come. Everyone and anyone that attended Tree Hill High School seemed to be making their way into the Scott beach house. Even people from other high school's were there. The house seemed to be on the brink of explosion and they could hear the music from where they stood on the side of the road before the house. Lindsey looked down at her outfit. A black skirt with a maroon blouse tucked in and to top it off, a leather jacket. She glanced over at Haley. Haley was wearing a pair of jeans and a Ravens basketball sweatshirt that she knew was Julian's.

Haley bit her lip as she looked over at Lindsey sheepishly."I'm sorry. It's been a long day." And it had. She had school and work. She had decided to give Nathan Friday's off for tutoring but it was mostly for her own benefit. Working the lunch and early dinner shift on Friday's paid better than any other day. She felt her muscles ache under her skin and she felt another yawn erupt from her throat. She gave a weak smile at Lindsey as they headed up the stairs toward the first floor of the beach house. Since it was North Carolina and on the ocean, the house was on stilts. It was one of the bigger beach houses in town but Haley didn't know why she was even surprised. The Scott beach house was still bigger than her own house. Once inside, Haley could barely form a thought. The music was loud but the groups of people were louder. It hurt her head.

"I'm going to go get a drink! Do you want anything?" Lindsey yelled over the music as she tried to stand closer to Haley.

Haley shook her head and before she knew it, she was standing amongst her peers, alone. It was startling at how alone she felt when she was surrounded by people. She bit her lip and debated if she should totally just bail but she didn't want to ditch Lindsey like that. She sighed as she looked around the room. Everyone was so dressed up like they were going to a rock concert. She glanced down at her sweatshirt and sighed. She brought her hands to her hair and twirled it around her fingers. She jumped up slightly when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and saw Jake. He was the new kid but they would talk briefly in the morning or between classes. "Hey!"

Jake smiled at her. "Finally someone normal." He looked around the groups of people and sighed. "Is this what weekends here are always like?"

Haley gave him a weary smile as she shrugged. "I wouldn't really know.."

"Ah, a first timer. At least I'm not the only one." Jake smiled bigger at her. Haley was a kind girl and he enjoyed their small friendship that was forming. "Do you want a-."

"I got you a water." Lindsey held up the small plastic bottle but felt her voice catch in her throat as she came up to Haley. She looked at the brunette boy and instantly felt her breath catch in her throat. His curly hair was a bit unruly but it wasn't too bad. The freckles across his nose seemed to bring out the color in his eyes. She cleared her throat as she looked at Haley.

"Oh, Jake this is my best friend, Lindsey." Haley smiled as she watched Jake's cheeks redden at the mention of the tall blonde next to her. She listened as they formed some small talk but her head really wasn't in it. She was tired and she kept growing more and more tired as she stood up straight. In the corner of her eye, she spotted him. Nathan Scott all in his precious glory. By his soft stumble, she could tell that he was drunk. She excused herself from the pair but they didn't seem to notice. She made her way through the downstairs of the house and toward the back deck. She was grateful that it was vacant. She let out a breath as she felt the breeze off the water hit her face and she inhaled. She went to the rail and leaned her shoulders against it as she looked out over the water. She missed her mom. Standing there, feeling the breeze go through her, she suddenly wished she was laying on the couch with her mother brushing her fingers through her hair. She gripped the rail harder as she looked out at the water.

"I couldn't really think in there either."

Haley turned her head as she watched Brooke push herself off the wall and come to the side of her. Her brother hadn't told her but the news of Brooke Davis and Julian James breaking up was news that seemed to be all over the school. Instead of replying with a rude remark, Haley remained silent as the two stood looking over the water.

"Can I ask you something?" Brooke mumbled as she turned her head to look at Haley. She took in Haley's appearance and then took in her own. Like most girls at the party, Brooke was fashioned in a short strapless black dress.

"Uh, sure." Haley mumbled as she shoved her arms into the front pocket of her sweatshirt. She wasn't sure when or if she ever had a conversation with Brooke that didn't revolve around a sassy remark or a bitchy counter-argument. This was different and it was definitely weird.

"What do you think of me?" Brooke asked softly as she turned to look at Haley fully. "I know I haven't been the nicest person..to you or well, anyone."

Haley looked over at Brooke like she was looking at her for the first time. This girl sounded so scared. So vulnerable. She wasn't used to it. Brooke was the kind of girl that walked around and acted like she owned everything. Haley swallowed as thought of something to say. She didn't really have a single idea what she thought of Brooke. A year ago she would have flat out called her a bitch. "Why are you asking me this?"

Brooke shrugged as she watched the water pull toward the shore and retract. "Figured you'd be honest."

Haley nodded her head as she turned her attention back toward the water as well. She didn't know what to say. Part of her felt bad for Brooke. She knew what it was like to need Julian in your life. The cold shoulder he was giving her was really starting to bring her down. She wondered if Brooke felt the same way, or worse. Suddenly, Haley flashed to a moment a few years ago. Rachel Gatina was picking on her for wearing a poncho on the first day of high school. Haley could still hear the taunting in her ears but once Rachel had started mocking her, she quickly finished from Brooke telling her to shut up. Brooke might have not been the nicest to people but she had a decent heart. Haley came back to reality and bit her lip. She glanced at Brooke who seemed to be waiting for an answer. "I think you're changing."

"What?" Brooke asked as she let a small chuckle escape her lips.

Haley shook her head at the fact of sounding stupid to the most popular girl in school. She brought a tired hand to her face and looked at her fully. "I don't think you're the person you were but I don't think you're the person you're supposed to be either."

Brooke remained silent for a few minutes but ended up nodding a bit later. She didn't feel like the same girl she was two years ago. Hell, she didn't feel like the same girl she was two days ago. Something in her was changing. She didn't want to be the partier girl anymore. She didn't want to be the person who brought other people down with her words. She knew it would be hard to shake off her reputation but damn, she wanted nothing more than to try. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Haley questioned as she kept her eyes on the water.

"Judging you. I'm sorry I did."

Haley turned her head and took in the sincere apology. "I'm sorry too." She offered Brooke a small smile before she gestured back inside of the beach house. Without another word, she made her way back into the house. The house was still packed but it was a bit emptier than it was a few moments ago. She looked toward the stairs at the front of the house and watched as a drunken Nathan took an equally drunk Rachel up them. She shook her head and made her way back toward Lindsey and Jake who seemed to be enjoying their conversation. She slowly butted in. "I'm gonna head home."

"Oh." Lindsey mumbled as she looked at her best friend. "Alright, let me go to the bathroom and then-."

"You can stay." Haley quickly muttered as she looked between the pair. "I can walk."

Lindsey turned to Jake who was looking at Haley was a concerned glance. "You can't walk home alone."

"Sure I can." Haley spoke was a fake smile as she gestured toward them. "Have fun." Even though they protested for a few minutes longer, Haley found herself walking alone from the beach house. Her mind was all over the grid. She missed her mom. That was clear. She missed getting those phone calls at eleven o'clock when her mother would check in with her, even if she was at a sleepover. She missed going home and seeing her mother asleep on the couch. She had to be strong though. Not only for herself but for the sake of her father and Julian. Instead of heading in the direction of her house, she walked toward the café. She reached the familiar street and smiled at the stillness of it. She hesitantly made her way toward the café and reached above the door frame until she felt the key in her palm. She unlocked the darkened café and quickly shut and locked the door behind her. With a soft breath, she moved in the dark toward the stairs that lead up toward the roof. Once she reached the top, she let out a breath and pushed the door open. Much to her surprise, she wasn't the only one.

Lucas turned around at the noise of the door opening but remained still. He shoved his hands into his jeans as he turned back around to overlook the dimly lit city.

Haley let out a shaky breath as she made her way to where he was standing. The view was beautiful. It was one of those rare sights that you had to know about in order to discover. She closed her eyes as she felt the wind on her face.

"This is my favorite spot."

Haley opened her eyes as she turned toward him. He rarely ever spoke to her directly. He was Lucas Scott. Basketball legend. He was also your typical egotistical jock like his brother. "My mom showed me it awhile ago."

Lucas nodded and instantly felt guilty about what he had said to Julian a few days prior. The more he thought about it, the more of a dick he felt. "I'm sorry." He turned his head just as hers turned with confusion. "About your mom."

Haley nodded her head and turned away as she crossed her arms over her chest. Everyone kept apologizing to her. It made her sick in the stomach. What was she supposed to say? It was okay? Because it wasn't okay. She wasn't okay. She was tired of telling everyone she was. She was tired of her brother hating her and she was tired of her brother hating himself. She didn't realize she was crying until she felt a hand brush against her cheek. She turned toward him and watched as he nervously shoved his hand back into his pocket. She sniffled and brought her hands to rub below her eyes.

Lucas didn't know why the hell he did that. Seeing her cry made something in him mend or come to life. He felt horrible. Here he was, avoiding his entire family and friends when this girl had actually lost someone. All he lost was his dream to Duke. Everyone thought he was going to go there, hell he always thought he would be going there but he wasn't. He didn't know what he was going to do and he didn't know if his father would ever look at him again. He shook his head at his thoughts as he moved toward a brick wall to his left. He felt around the bricks until a lose one popped freely in his hand. He reached inside and pulled out a warn out tin. He let out a shaky breath as he made his way back toward Haley. Without speaking, he placed the tin into her hand.

Haley looked up at him with more confusion before she looked down at the tin. She popped off the lid and saw a wad of paper folded neatly into it. She pulled out the paper and held it between her fingers. The words _I will go to Duke University _were over the page a million times it seemed. A few random ones about girls or his father were scrambled across the page as well. "What is this?"

Lucas cleared his throat. "I used to make predictions every year before the first day of school."

Haley raised an eyebrow at him as she folded the paper back into the tin. "Okay.."

"I didn't get into Duke." He spoke the words for the first time and to someone was who practically a stranger. It felt like the weight had climbed out of his skin and floated until it was settled between them.

Haley's eyes widened at that. Everyone assumed Lucas Scott wound follow the Scott family tradition and head toward Duke University. She was surprised. "Why are you telling me?"

Lucas shrugged as he took the tin from her hands and held it between his fingers "My whole dream is in this box and it's gone." He looked at it and twirled it between his fingers for a moment before he took a breath and threw it over the edge. He heard her gasp but she didn't say anything. He waited a few moments before he turned back toward her. "I know it's not the same but.." He looked at her and looked down at the ground. "I know what that loss feels like."

Haley looked at him somberly. She never saw him like this. Not when he sat alone in the library occasionally or when he would walk down the hallway at school. He looked at her with so much defeat. It seemed to wash away the view of him. It made him look human. She watched him stuff his hands back into his pockets. "I'm sorry."

"I'm really starting to hate that phrase."

Haley let out a low chuckle as she agreed. She placed her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. "What are you going to do now?"

Lucas looked over at her and bit his lip. "I have no idea."

Haley understood him there. She felt the same way. She suddenly realized where she was and who she was with. She cleared her throat and gestured toward the door. "I'll just, leave you be."

Lucas looked over at the lights before turning back toward her. "Can you not tell anyone?"

Haley looked at him and realized he wasn't talking about them being alone together. He was talking about Duke. She nodded her head and smiled at him softly before she turned and walked away from him. Once she locked up the café and placed the key back in it's place, she stepped onto the sidewalk and saw where the tin box had landed. She bit her lip as she walked toward it. Without a second thought, she picked up the tin and headed home.

* * *

Julian felt the warm bubble flow down his throat as he finished another shot. People were cheering him on but he barely paid attention toward them. He just wanted another drink. He moved past a few bodies as he went toward the small set up bar. Vodka. Bourdon. Scotch. Whiskey. Anything you could think of was right in front of him. He gripped the bottle of vodka and greatly poured it into this cup. He wanted to drink until he couldn't see straight.

"A little much, don't you think?"

He turned his head as he saw a brunette standing before him. Her hair was long and curled so it rested right before her ribs. She was wearing a tight black tank top and a pair of bluejeans. "A little what?"

"I've been watching you for the past half hour. I don't even know how you're standing up." She reached for his cup and grasped it between her own hands.

"Hey!"

"Alex Dupre. Oaklake."

Julian stared at her and tried to grab his drink back. He knew her for exactly fifty-two seconds and he was already annoyed. He gave up on trying to get his own drink so he quickly poured himself another and gulped it down before she had a chance to take it away. "You're annoying."

Alex rolled her eyes as she smiled at him. "Who are you?"

"What?"

Alex emptied the cup into the sink as she kept her eyes onto him. She knew who he was but barely. She saw him on the basketball court a handful of times the past few years but that was basically it. "I told you who I was. Now who are you?"

"Julian James."

"Ah, JJ." Everyone seemed to chant that as they cheered him on. It made sense. He had caught her eye as soon as she walked in. His brown curly hair. His dark eyes. His perfect body. The more she watched him, the more she noticed that he was broken some how. She watched his eyes darken as he drank. She watched the smile that was placed onto his face, fade away to nothing He was so humanistic. "Why are you drinking tonight?"

Julian rolled his eyes in annoyance. He was growing more and more annoyed with the girl. He glanced around the room but the faces seemed blurred and the music seemed to disappear. His hearing kept going in and out. He staggered past the girl and made his way through the living room. He weaved in and out of the bodies of the beach house before he made his way outside. He gasped for air like he never had it before. He quickly made his way down the stairs and walked away from the house. His thoughts were rigid and his breathing was coming out in harsh breaths. He wasn't sure how he ended up in front of Tree Hill cemetery but even through his blurred vision, he could make it way through it. He walked past statues and tombstones. He let out a breath as he stood before the familiar white tombstone. It looked so new. He looked around and saw the eerie emptiness of the cemetery.

It scared him.

He looked back toward the white tombstone and suddenly dropped to his knees. There were matches of grass growing but they were barely there. He felt himself crying now. He sucked in a breath as he laid forward and rested his head against the growing grass. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be crying to the grave of his mother's. He wanted to be walking into his house and get scolded for being drunk. He needed her. He didn't want to make decisions on his own. He wanted his mother there. He wanted her to help him pick a college. He wanted her to ask him what he wanted study at college. She was taken far too soon and it was all his fault.

Her death was because of him. It was his fault she was in the car that night. It was his fault she slid from the rain and flew over the bridge. It was all his fault. He wished it was him. He wished she was still alive and laughing while he was buried six feet under. The guilt was unbearable and his heart pounded in his chest. He didn't want to be here.

He started to slam his hands into the dirt He screamed and didn't care at the dirt which flew into his mouth. He felt so angry. "Why did you take her from me?" He kept screaming over and over as his hands slammed against the earth.

He sat up a few minutes later and stared ahead of himself. He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself down. He stared at her name before him and felt the same anger rush into his bones. He shook his off and stood up. He stumbled as he walked away and headed home.

As he walked up the walkway to his house he saw his sister sitting on the front porch. He didn't want to deal with her right now. He walked toward the door and as his hand reached the doorknob, she spoke.

"I wouldn't go in there."

"And why not?" Julian grumbled as he swayed from side to side. He turned and saw his sister's back.

"You're drunk and dad's inside."

"Thank you for stating the obvious." Julian went to reach for the door knob again but instead of opening it, he let out a soft grumble before turning away and making his way next to her. He took his time sitting down but once he did, the world still seemed to move around him. He wanted to lay down. "Is dad even awake?"

"Yup." Haley muttered as she played with the tin box in her hands. Along with predictions of Lucas's, there were also some of Nathan's. She could tell by the handwriting. One of Nathan's predictions startled her though. _I will become friends again with Haley James. _By his handwriting and the ware on the paper, she could tell that it was from years ago. It had caused something in her to come alive. It was scary really. She turned her attention back toward Julian who was struggling to keep his eyes open. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at his hands. "Why are you covered in dirt?" She watched him shrug. "JJ!"

"Can you lower your voice? Damn." He brought his hands to his temple and sighed. He just wanted his bed. He turned to her and saw her staring at him. "I just want to go to bed."

"Be my guest."

Julian sighed at her irritated tone. He really didn't know how to act around his sister. She probably hated him. They used to be so close. She was literally his best friend. He used to tell her everything and he used to share books and movies with her. She was his little sister. She was everything and anything he cared about. Even his popularity didn't take away what he felt for her. She was still his little sister and his care for her would never stop. He just didn't know how to show it now. He didn't know how to do anything now. "How much longer until dad goes to work?"

Haley looked at him for a moment before she pushed up her sweatshirt sleeve and glanced at the small watch that laid on her wrist. "Ten minutes." She looked at Julian and heard him curse under his breath. She sighed as she stood up. She reached her hand out and watched him look up at her with question. "Just follow my lead."

Julian hesitantly placed his hand into hers and was quickly pulled up. He sighed and swayed for a moment before he felt Haley lead him into the house. As soon as they walked into the house, they were greeted by their father sitting on steps. Julian's eyes grew wide but he felt Haley's hand squeeze his.

"Where have you both been?"

Haley held onto Julian's hand tightly and then she bursted out giggling. Causing Julian and her father's eyes to widen.

Jimmy stared at his daughter and then his son. "Are you both..drunk?"

Haley stopped giggling and pretended to sway side to side. "I'm sorry daddd." She giggled softly as she let go of her father's hand. "It won't happen again!"

Jimmy chuckled at his daughter as he nodded. He stepped aside and gestured for them to go up the stairs.

Haley let Julian go upstairs first but before she followed him, she felt a light tug on her hand. She turned toward her father who was leaning up into her.

"You're a great sister but a horrible liar."

Haley pulled away with a shy smile before she ran up the stairs and watched as Julian made his way toward his room. She walked right behind him but as she reached his door, he slammed it into her face. She gulped and stared at it with wide eyes before she backed away and headed toward her own room.

* * *

"How was the rest of your weekend?"

Haley turned her head from inside her locker toward Jake who was opening his own locker. She smiled as he punched the middle of it. The rest of her weekend was sort of a blur. She worked mostly and in-between that she was looking at scholarships for Julian. Not that even even made up his mind to attend college. He barely acknowledged the acceptance letters and whenever their father brought it up, he merely shrugged it off and went into his room. "It was okay. Yours?"

Jake turned slightly red in the face as he placed a few books into his locker. He heard Haley gasp and he instantly became redder in the face.

"You have to tell me!"

Jake made a face into his locker before he turned toward the blonde. He smiled as he thought about his weekend. "Your friend Lindsey is really-."

"James."

Haley turned her head as she watched Lucas make his way between her and Jake. She bit the inside of her lip as she gave Jake an apologetic smile. She turned her attention back toward the blonde Scott brother and sighed. "Yes?"

Lucas bit the inside of his mouth before he spoke. He let out a breath and shrugged off his book-bag and unzipped it. He reached inside and pulled out a worn out copy of Julius Caesar. He looked at the book in his hands once more before he held it out toward Haley.

"What is this?" Haley looked at the warn out copy in her hands and flipped quickly through it. There was writing in the margins. She didn't even know he read things like this. She glanced up at him and saw him shrug.

"I thought you would like it."

Haley let out a breath but before she could thank him, he was already walking away from her. She stared at his retreating figure for a second before she looked back at the book. She looked at the book for a moment more before she went and placed it into her locker.

"What was that about? Does he like you or something?" Jake asked as he elbowed her.

Haley looked at the end of the hallway and saw the blonde boy opening his own locker. She shook her head. "I don't think it's like that." She didn't feel that way about him. She closed her locker and turned her attention back onto Jake. "Now, what were you saying about Lindsey?"

"She's just..really great."

Haley already knew this. Lindsey had called her all weekend and told her gushing stories about Jake and things they would text each other. However, Haley didn't lead on that she knew anything. She was about to say more about the subject but the bell rang. She offered a small smile toward Jake before she headed off to class. The day seemed short but Haley liked it that way. She was grateful when Clay left her alone. He had texted her the night before to talk but she didn't respond. She didn't want to do anything more to hurt him.

After school, she made her way toward the tutoring center. She plopped herself down and started working on her homework for the day. She looked up only when the door opened and when it had, she realized the time was almost four-thirty. She gave out a sigh as she watched Nathan pull out the chair from across her. "You skipped English and you're late."

Nathan rolled his eyes as he started pulling out his textbooks. He could have gone to English, he really could have. Instead, he found himself making out with Bevin Mirskey in the janitor's closet. He didn't even like her but he would do anything to get out of class. He couldn't really help that he was late though. Whitey was giving them new plays and it was Monday which meant it was a running day. "What did I miss?"

Haley stared at him for a moment before she reached before her and pulled out a piece of paper. She quickly handed it over toward Nathan and watched as his eyes danced over the page.

"Having a Coke with You?"

Haley let out a sigh as she nodded her head and turned her attention back toward her French book.

"What is it?"

"It's a poem."

"Oh really?" Nathan bit back sarcastically as he looked over the paper to stare at Haley. She was still glancing down at her textbook. He took his time as he looked at her though. Her hair was wavy and cascading down her back. She was wearing a green blouse that flowed slightly open, which showed a white camisole underneath. She looked beautiful. Beautiful? He never used that word before. He shook his head. "Can you help me with it?"

Haley dropped her pencil before she turned her attention from her book toward Nathan. She reached before her and pulled out her own piece of paper with the poem. She scanned it over again and looked at him. "What don't you get?"

Nathan let out a small sigh as he looked down at the paper. "Can we go over it like the other poem?" He mumbled into as he looked down at the table.

Haley bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. "Alright, you start."

Nathan wanted to roll his eyes but he didn't. He cleared his throat and looked at her for a moment before he looked down at the paper in her hands. "Having a coke with you is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Ir-Ir-"

"Irún."

Nathan gave her and eyeroll and continued. " Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona. Partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better, happier St. Sebastian. Partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt. Partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches. Partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary. It is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still, as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it. In the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth, between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles. And the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint. You suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them. I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world." Nathan paused as he looked over at her. Her bottom lip was between her teeth but she was smiling at the poem. He found himself staring at her mouth.

Haley jerked her head up. "Do you want me to finish reading?"

Nathan found himself unable to answer her with words so he merely nodded.

Haley suddenly felt very foolish and shy but she cleared her throat and looked at the words on the page. "Except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick, which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time. And the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism. Just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me. And what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully. As the horse it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience. Which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it..." She ended the poem but when she looked up, Nathan was looking at her with such an emotion that she couldn't find a single word to dictate what it was he was feeling. She cleared her throat. "Do you understand it?"

Nathan nodded and glanced down at the paper in his hands. "It's a love poem."

Haley smiled as she looked down at the words on the paper. It was a love poem and more. It was raw emotion and she only wished that someday, someone felt that way about her. "That's right."

Nathan nodded and let out a breath. "Did we just have to read it?"

"Yeah, we just had to read it."

Nathan looked at her for a moment before he nodded. He did read it but that wasn't all he did. He pictured himself sitting alongside the girl before him in some foreign city. Sharing a coke with her and pointing out useless facts about pictures and places. What scared him the most was that he found himself actually wanting to do that and mostly, do that with her. The thought continued to scare him but he easily pushed it aside as he opened up his French book.


End file.
